Stigma

Chapter 6

James

I'm angry at Jason Dean.

I've been angry at Jason Dean for a few days now, and I just seem to keep getting angrier. I really don't believe he had any right to touch me like that, to leave his fingerprints all over my body and my fucking soul, and then kick me out of his apartment with an 'I've got an early class' excuse.

I keep pulling up his name in my phone and hovering my thumb over the call button, but then I just put my phone back in my pocket. He obviously doesn't want to hear from me or he would've called me himself. I'm not going to be the one to reach out, I'm not.

Unfortunately, I think my anger with Jason has turned into just general anger, and it's bleeding over into my daily life.

"You should've told him," Chris says. He's sitting on my couch clicking things on his laptop with a frown on his face. "He's Nico, he's going to find out."

"I fucking know that," I snap. I'm in the kitchen wiping the counters down because I can't manage to sit still and go over the schedule with Chris. That's the kind of shit I pay him for, anyway.

Click. Click. "Why didn't you tell him then?"

"Because I know what he's going to say." I throw the sponge into the sink so hard that it bounces back out and lands on the floor.

Chris looks up at me. "Fuck him. Right? That's what you think he'll say?" I bend down to get the sponge, and when I straighten up Chris is still looking at me. "He'd pay you for that."

I throw the sponge in the sink again. "I'm not a fucking rent boy, Chris."

Chris sighs. "I knew you'd say that. It's one time, Jim."

"No, it's not one time. Ralphie isn't going anywhere, he and Nico are going to be partners and I refuse to be some piece he pulls off the shelf whenever he feels like it. No matter what Nico is willing to pay me."

I'm just getting even angrier, talking about this.

"I get it."

"I don't even know why he thought hitting on me in a bathroom was okay. What if I was straight?" Chris gives me a look that I don't like. "What? Do I look like I fuck guys? Is that some kind of vibe that I'm giving off?"

"I wouldn't say you look like you fuck guys, but you do sort of give off a general queerr vibe." Chris has gone back to frowning at his laptop.

"Seriously? I'm not even gay. I'm – I'm – whatever, it's not like I'm effeminate or anything."

That word, effeminate, makes me think of Jason and his red thong. It's not something I'd expected him to be wearing under his straight cut jeans. He definitely didn't give off a thong vibe. Thinking about him sends a little shiver up and down my spine.

Fuck, I miss him. Can you miss someone you barely know?

"Why is it so hard for you to say the word bisexual?" Click click. "It's not a difficult word to pronounce."

I open the fridge just so I can slam it closed. "What the fuck do you know about it? You're straight."

I stalk over to the couch and throw myself down beside Chris. He whistles through his teeth and shakes his head. "Someone's dramatic."

"Fuck you."

"I don't think it's fair for you to assume I'm straight," Chris says.

"You told me yourself."

"Yeah, but I kissed a guy once."

"So you love to remind me." I cross my arms over my chest and lean my head back. I can't get the image of Jason in his thong out of my head. It's incredibly distracting.