A House Divided

Chapter 29

Cianne was so tense the day of the eavesdropping mission she felt like her bones might snap from sheer pressure. She hadn't seen Lach since their last, unsettling encounter, and as much of a relief as it was not to have to continue to put on a show for him, she also worried about not seeing him. What did her father, Moiria, and the Elders make of it? Had she exposed herself, destroyed the one thing that had provided her with cover? If they felt she no longer had any power over Lach, they'd have no further use for her, not even her father. Especially not her father. She would be an impediment to him, an obstacle standing in the way of whatever it was he hoped to achieve.

She wanted to be well rested for that evening, but her worries kept circling around and around in her mind until she gave in and spent some time in her rafters, pushing herself to move faster, to work harder. She moved until she could move no more, and then she collapsed in one of the alcoves formed by a joist and a strut, folding herself into the tiny space. The sun's position told her it would soon be time for dinner, and she let her eyes go unfocused, the fragments of color thrown off by her glass baubles softening and going blurry around the edges. When she swept her eyes around the rafters like that, taking in the refracted light, she felt almost as if she were sitting in a rainbow, high up in the clouds, far from the city, far from House Staerleigh, far from anything that could hurt her.

Would her illusion of safety and security ever become a reality?

She lingered as long as she dared and then leapt lightly down to her bed frame and set about getting herself cleaned up and dressed. Her gear sack had long since been packed and repacked, checked and double checked, and was hidden under her floorboards with the clothing she'd selected for that night. Once she and her father finished dinner she wouldn't have much time. She would have to get back to her quarters, change, and climb out through one of the upper story windows in a matter of minutes. Otherwise she risked losing sight of her father, who she knew would leave promptly after dinner ended, as he had every time he had attended one of these secretive meetings.

"Cianne, you're looking well tonight," Daerwyn said as she joined him at the table.

"Thank you, Father," she replied. No matter how much icy water she had splashed over her face, she hadn't been able to rid it of the flush brought about by her exertions. She worried that he suspected something, but he gave her no more than a cursory nod of approval before focusing his attention on his meal.

They ate for a while without speaking, Cianne casting about for safe topics, but she no longer had any idea what was safe. Every subject seemed to hold twice the meaning she believed it to hold, and she felt as though she had to tiptoe around everything while with her father. She lived in dread of that one misstep, that one slip that would reveal her hand. Though she had been about the practice of deceiving him for many years, she had begun to wonder if she was up to the task of continuing.

"How are the preparations for Lach's journey coming along?" she asked at last.

"Very well. I had initial concerns because he didn't show much interest in the preparations, which, as you know, is quite unusual for him. But he's come around of late, is almost acting like his old self again, so whatever you said to him helped."

Was he testing her? She sent an appraising look at him from beneath lowered lids, feigning modesty at the compliment. Nothing seemed amiss. Even so, she felt a tingle of apprehension at the base of her spine.

"I'm glad I was able to help him, though I don't think I can take all the credit. The decision to send him on this journey did him a real service, but then you, Moiria, and the Elders have always looked out for his best interests."

"Always will, as we would for any member of our House. We must none of us neglect our duty to our House," her father said, a note of something in his voice that Cianne didn't like.