Drawn to Lust

Shadow Of Rebellion

"Bambi"

The days blurred together, each one bleeding into the next like smudged ink. I moved through the mansion like a ghost, my reflection haunting the mirrors but never quite feeling real. The halls felt endless, but no matter where I wandered, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was always being watched. The guards, the staff-they all had eyes, always reporting back to him. To Valerian.

I learned to play the part. To smile when I had to, to keep my head down, to let him think I was coming to terms with my new reality. I had to. There was no other way if I wanted to survive. If I wanted to escape.

Escape. The word was always on the edge of my thoughts, flickering like a distant light I could barely reach. Every day, I wore the mask a little better, and every day, I swallowed my hatred for him, for what he had done to me. I had to convince him that I was broken, that I had accepted my fate. Only then could I find the moment where his grip would slip, where I could finally break free.

I watched him carefully at dinner, my heart racing as I decided to test the waters. The dining room was quiet except for the soft clinking of silverware on porcelain, and the dim light cast long shadows across the room. I could feel Valerian's presence even before I looked up from my plate. His eyes, always on me, dark and unreadable.

"Do you ever feel lonely?" The words slipped out before I could stop them. They felt dangerous, reckless, but I had to know.

He paused, his fork hovering in the air as he looked at me. His eyes narrowed slightly, as if weighing the meaning behind my question. "Lonely?" he repeated, his voice low and measured. "What an odd question for you to ask."

I shrugged, trying to keep my voice casual. "We're always surrounded by people, but it seems like no one really knows you. Not even the people who work for you. They fear you, but fear isn't the same as loyalty. Or love."

Valerian set his fork down slowly, leaning back in his chair. His eyes pinned me in place, making it hard to breathe. "Fear is far more reliable than love, Bambi. You'll learn that."

The chill in his voice made my skin crawl, but I kept my composure. "Maybe. But you have no one who truly cares about you. No one who sees you for who you are."

His lips twisted into that familiar cruel smile. "And what makes you think I care about that?"

I met his gaze, the reckless urge rising again. "Because it's human. Everyone wants to be loved, even you."

The silence between us stretched thin, and I braced myself for the inevitable punishment. But instead, he simply chuckled, the sound low and dark.

"You think you're clever, don't you?" he said, his voice laced with amusement, but it only made me feel colder. "Trying to analyze me like one of those armchair philosophers. But you're wrong, Bambi. I have exactly what I want. Power. Control. And you."

The way he said it-*you*-like I was a possession, something he could claim and control, made my stomach turn. But I didn't flinch. I didn't let him see how much his words hurt. Instead, I smiled, hollow and forced, and nodded as if I understood.

That night, after he left for another one of his meetings, I stood by the window in our bedroom, staring out at the moonlit gardens. The air felt heavy, oppressive, like the mansion itself was closing in around me. I needed to get out, but how? I had no one, no allies in this house of shadows.

No one, except maybe Nico.

Nico. Valerian's younger brother. He was different from Valerian, not quite as cruel, not quite as cold. He wasn't wrapped up in the darkest parts of Valerian's empire-at least, not that I had seen. And he had always treated me with a kindness that I didn't expect in this world. Maybe I could trust him. Maybe he would help me.

But approaching him was a risk. Valerian watched everyone who came near me, especially Nico. He was paranoid, controlling. I'd have to be careful, make sure I didn't raise any suspicion.

The next morning, as I wandered through the mansion, I found my opportunity. Nico was in the library, lounging in one of the leather armchairs, a book in his hand. His dark hair was slightly disheveled, his usual easy smile tugging at the corner of his lips when he saw me.

"Good morning, Bambi," he said, setting the book down.

I smiled back, forcing my racing heart to calm. This was my chance. "Good morning, Nico. I didn't expect to see you here."

He shrugged, looking relaxed but always a little too aware of his surroundings. "Valerian asked me to keep an eye on things while he's gone. You know how he is."

I nodded, stepping closer. "Do you ever get tired of it?"

His eyes flicked up to mine, cautious. "Tired of what?"

"Of living in his shadow," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "Of being part of this world. The darkness. The violence."

For a moment, he didn't say anything. His expression shifted, something guarded but also curious flickering in his gaze. "You should be careful, Bambi. Talking like that could get you into trouble."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, the fear of what I was about to ask nearly overwhelming me. But I had to take the risk. I had no other choice. "I don't care anymore. I can't live like this. I need out, Nico. Please... help me."

His face remained impassive, but I could see the gears turning in his mind. He was weighing the risks, the consequences. For a long moment, I thought he would laugh at me, or worse, tell Valerian. But then, his shoulders slumped slightly, and he let out a soft sigh.

"I can't make any promises," he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I'll see what I can do."

Relief washed over me, though it was only a small spark of hope in the vast darkness that surrounded me. "Thank you," I whispered, my heart pounding in my chest.

As I walked away, I felt lighter. For the first time since Valerian had taken me, I wasn't alone. I had an ally, even if he wasn't certain how to help yet. It was a start.

But I knew I was playing a dangerous game. Valerian would never let me go without a fight, and if he even suspected that I was plotting my escape, the consequences would be unbearable.

Still, as I lay in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling, I clung to the one truth that kept me going:

I would find a way out of this cage. I had to.