adversaries | diluc x fem!reader

13 | dear reader

''No, I have no idea where Diluc is. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have matters to attend to.''

That was the sixth time Kaeya had dismissed her in the past day. After she'd gone to the Dawn Winery in the morning and Adelinde had informed her for Diluc's overnight departure, informing her he would be gone a while and giving her a letter Diluc had left behind for her, she rushed back to find Kaeya and corner him to inquire about what had happened, though to no avail. He was avoiding her or refusing to answer, walking away the second he could. 

She wanted to free him in his spot, but she wasn't sure if she could if he sported the same Vision as her now. 

She'd found refuge in Diluc's office, sitting in his chair. The letter lay on top of his desk as she stared at it, anxious to open it. Did he tell her why he left? Where he was going? What he was going to do? 

Chewing on her lip, she snatched the letter off the desk and ripped it open, pulling the single peace of paper from inside, filled with Diluc's neat handwriting. 

My dearest Y/n, 

I apologize for leaving without saying goodbye. I thought that if I'd come to see you, I wouldn't have been able to leave. I know you'll be mad. I hope you don't hate me for it, but if you do, I beg for your forgiveness.

I don't know when I'll be back. I'm not going to tell you where I'm going because I don't want you to follow me and get hurt in the process. All you need to know is that I need to do this if I want to move forward with my life. And I can't do it at home. 

Right now, you're probably thinking that I left you behind, but I haven't. You're with me in my heart, as you have been for the better part of my life, and I could only hope you will find it within you to carry me in yours until I come back. If you cannot do that, I will understand and respect your decision. 

I'm sorry for leaving you now. I never wanted for this to happen. I'll miss you dearly and be back as soon as I've accomplished my objective. Please, stay safe and take care of yourself. 

I didn't want to have to say it over paper, but I love you. Always have and always will. 

Eternally yours,

Diluc

Once she'd finished reading, she read it again. Then again and again, trying to read between the lines, trying to undertand, but she coulnd't. He'd left her no clues, no explanations. Just his love for her, one she wasn't even aware was that big. 

''Diluc . . .'' she whispered as she leaned back in his chair, hugging the paper close to herself. ''What are you doing? Why are you acting so rash?''

Her words hung in the air with no answer. It all felt surreal. It almost felt like Diluc was about to walk through the doors and question why she's sitting in his chair with a smile on his face. She probably would've gone up to him and given him a kiss as a greeting. 

But who knows? He's gone now.

What if he didn't come back? What if he got himself in so much trouble and gets thrown in prison somewhere, or worse? How would anyone know where to look for him if he'd refused to give them any leads? 

She could try and follow him, but she had no idea what direction to go. It wasn't like he'd leave a trail behind, especially if he didn't want to be found. 

Her hand reached to her cheek when she felt the first tear slip and she quickly wiped it away. I swear to the fucking Archons, Diluc Ragnividr, if you die, I'm going to kill you myself. Again, her thoughts were mere thoughts, as he wasn't there to hear them.

There was a knock on the door and she quickly straightened up, wiping her tears and sniffing. ''Come in.'' She hoped her voice didn't betray her sadness. 

Jean poked her head in, her face somber, as expected. ''Grandmaster Varka wants to talk to you.''

''Right now?'' Jean nodded. Y/n sighed and folded the letter, putting it back in the envelope. ''I'll be there in a moment. Thank you, Jean.'' Jean did nothing more than nod before she left. 

Y/n put the letter in her jacket, making sure she wouldn't loose it and keeping it close to her heart. This was the best she was going to get for the time being, wasn't there? 

She knocked on Grandmaster Varka's door, entering when she'd heard his voice from the inside. He was standing, looking out the window as his back faced her. He looked over his shoulder for a brief moment before looking back ahead. ''Y/n, please, sit down.''

Wordlessly, she did as told. She didn't feel like being here. She wanted to go home, pack a bag and go after Diluc, but she knew she couldn't. She had no location, no money. She was stuck in Mondstadt with the unknown. 

''As I'm sure you're aware by now, Captain Diluc has left the ranks of the knights abruptly,'' Varka spoke. 

Y/n gulped, willing herself not to cry. ''Yes, Grandmaster.'' 

''With this sudden development, the posiotion of Cavalry Captain has been vacanted.'' Y/n didn't like where this was going. Varka turned around, his cold gaze meeting hers. ''Diluc valued your strength and opinion, so he made you his Vice Captain. Due to that, I find it fit I respect his opinion about you and extend you the offer to take up his position and lead the Cavalry into their next battles.'' 

Y/n blinked at him. Really, this shouldn't be surprising. It was only logical that she, as Vice Captain, would be asked to take over. Still, the pit in her stomach only grew the longer she thought about. 

It was funny, really. Now that she was finally on good therms with Diluc, knowing she had feelings for him and he for her, now that her life was finally turning good, suddenly all the things she'd wished would happen just a few weeks back were starting to happen. Diluc was out of the game and she was being offered a high ranking position. A captain! 

She wanted to scoff. What a joke. 

''I'm sorry, Grandmaster, but I must decline.'' Varka furrowed his eyebrows at her answer, so she quickly got to explaining. ''I do not believe I'm fit for the role. I'm nowhere near Diluc's level, I don't know how to lead. You should give this important position to someone more capable.''

There was a moment of silence. Y/n thought he might just reject her rejection, forcing the role on her, when he suddenly hummed. ''Very well. I shall respect your decision.''

Y/n nodded. ''Thank you.'' Then an idea struck her. She hadn't thought it through, not at all, but as soon as the idea crossed her mind, she knew it was the right choice. ''However, may I ask for a favor?'' 

''Depends on what it is.''

''I would like to be transferred.'' Y/n said, looking up at Varka. He looked rather intimidating, his huge build looming over her. But she couldn't bring herself to be scared at the moment, not when her heart was broken in two and the only person who could fix it was Archons knew where. ''Prefferably to the Abyssmal Research Unit, if there are free places. But I'll take anything. I just . . . I can't be in the Cavalry.'' Not without Diluc. 

''The Abyssmal Research Unit?'' Another hum, then a nod. ''Very well. That may be arranged.'' 

He'd dismissed her after that, telling her to take the day off if she needed to after clearing out her office. Diluc's office. Their office. She was going to be sick. 

She packed away all of Diluc's belongings in a box, planning to bring them to the Dawn Winery later in the day. As she cleared out one of the desk drawers, she found a fotograph stuck between the pages of a book; a Teyvat Travel Guide. She pulled the book out, opening to the page that the picture marked. 

The picture itself was the of them as kids, standing in the grape yards at the Dawn Winery. Diluc grinning at the camera, one of his teeth missing, Y/n pretty much mimicking him. Even their clothes matched, both with white undershirts and dark brown vests, beige pants for him, a skirt for her. She didn't even remember that they used to match outfits.

She gulped as she looked at the marked page. Opera Epiclese stood as a heading, the two words shooting a dagger right in her heart.