red winter (Sebastian Michaelis x Reader)

His Butler, Listening

"And if there wasn't winter, autumn would be my favourite"

The butler raised his eyebrows and a smirk appeared on his thin lips.
"The season of falling leaves and crisp air. I must say, it does have a certain charm. The vibrant colours of the trees as they transition from green to various shades of red, orange and yellow are quite picturesque. It's a shame the season doesn't last longer than it does"

"Oh yes it is. And maybe this will sound stupid to you as you are living on for a much longer time than I will and have a lot more autumns left than I do but I always have a certain desire to capture the vision of autumn through photographs  but they never seem to capture it in its original beauty"

"I understand the sentiment. The transformation of the leaves in autumn is a fleeting moment filled with beauty and colour. If only moments like these could be frozen in time"

"It's a shame that nothing lasts forever", you deplore quiet.

"The seasons come and go, bringing with them their own unique beauty and characteristics. And once they're gone, we're left with the memories of what was"

"I just never really understood the beauty of spring and summer"

"I can understand you, even though I prefer them over the cold seasons. The heat and humidity of summer can be quite uncomfortable, especially to those who aren't used to it. And as for spring...well the pollen can be troublesome for some. Allergies and whatnot"

"Yes, I really do not like to sweat and I have my troubles with hay fever that's why I stay inside most of the time in spring"

"It's a pity you have to miss out on the outside. Spring can be quite lovely with its flowers and greenery"

"Oh I believe you...but tell me Sebastian, why did you even come here?"

A hint of surprise in his eyes:
"Here, as in the garden with you? Well, I noticed you were sitting by yourself, swinging on your swing, and I thought I'd come and chat. You seemed to be deep in thought and I figured you might appreciate some company"

Would he just follow you without being ordered to? That sounded a bit weird...you just had to confront him about it "Did Ciel send you?"

Sebastian chuckled, his expression turning wry.
"Ciel? No, he didn't send me. I came here completely on my own. I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions without his input, thank you very much"

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. He just seems so worried about me in the last few weeks"

"No need to apologise. I suppose Ciel has been showing signs of concern for you. It's only natural and expected of him, considering your circumstances"

"What circumstances?"

"You have been quieter and more withdrawn lately, Lady Phantomhive. Ciel, being the brother that he is, picks up on these changes and is concerned about your well-being"

"He is my younger brother. He shouldn't worry about me", you said while looking down on your feet that were hanging in the air while you were still sitting on your swing.

"Ah, siblings worry about each other regardless of age. It's a natural part of the relationship, even if it seems misplaced or unneeded at times. Despite him being younger than you, the young master still feels protective and concerned about you. It's simply a byproduct of the bond you share as siblings"

"I guess you're right, Sebastian. But there is really nothing...nothing for him to worry about." You almost screamed the last sentence at him.

He studied you closely for a moment, his gaze assessing.
"Is it really nothing? Not only Ciel has noticed a change in your behaviour. There must be a reason for it . Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes I am"

A sigh came from the black butler and you could've sworn there was a hint of scepticism in his voice.
"If you say so. I don't mean to pry, but you can't blame Ciel for worrying about you . He cares for you and it's only natural for him to express his concern when he notices a change in your behaviour"

"I know and I don't blame him. It's not his fault"

"Exactly. Ciel's concern comes from a place of love and care. Even if it feels unnecessary to you, it's simply his way of expressing his affection and protectiveness as your younger brother"

"I don't even know what's wrong with me myself. Well, I do know but there's nothing i could change about it"

With a little concern in his voice: "Do you feel comfortable telling me about it, my Lady?"

"I can try but it probably sounds ridiculous to you. I feel suppressed by society!"

"Suppressed by society? Could you elaborate on that?" Now he sounded irritated. But you couldn't blame him. A Lady from high status being suppressed by society? That sounded more like bullshit than anything else.

"They just have so many rules for nobles"

"Ah, I see. So it's the constraints and expectations placed upon you due to your aristocratic status that make you feel suppressed?!"

"Yes"

"I can understand how those societal pressures can be restrictive and stifling. Being an aristocrat means you are expected to adhere to a certain code of conduct and fulfill certain obligations, and that can be suffocating at times"

"Exactly. And what if I don't meet those expectations? What if I don't want to?! What if I fall out of protocol?"

"What if you don't meet those expectations? Well if you fall out of protocol, the other nobles might look down on you and criticise you for your 'lack of etiquette' or 'unladylike behaviour' "

"But what if I had a good reason for it?"

"I suppose if you had a compelling reason for going against societal norms, you could argue your case. But the aristocracy can be quite rigid in their ways. They might not be understanding or willing to accept any deviation from established protocol, regardless of your reasons for doing so"

"I kinda hoped it wouldn't be like that but deep down I knew. I just don't want all that anymore. I want to be a normal human like everyone else"

"It's an interesting wish, considering the circumstances. Unfortunately as a noble you don't really have that luxury. You're tied to your societal status and all the expectations that come with it. And even if you did become a 'normal person' there's no guarantee that life would become simpler"

"All I have right now is money and a title. What does that get me?"

"A title and wealth...they give you power, influence and access to certain privileges. They elevate your societal standing and allow you to have sway in society...but as I said before, they come with certain responsibilities and expectations. And ultimately, they don't necessarily guarantee happiness and fulfilment"

"Oh I could've guessed so far. I'm not happy at all"

"I can see that. From the look on your face and the way you've been acting lately, it's clear you're not content with your current situation. Money and titles won't fill that void of unhappiness"