Insanity

Chapter 4- Secrets

   She swore under her breath, winter had settled in, and the snow seemed to be never ending, she thought she'd been cursed at this point. Her body racked with shivers, trembling against the cold that ate away at whatever warmth she had left and made her skin ache. But it was at the back of her mind, her heart thudding in her chest as she watched the city goers pass by. It was close to Christmas time, she believed that is what they called it, their makeshift fairytale surrounding gift giving. This was her form of entertainment, simply watching and listening to everyone else, learning new words, new news from the outside world. They all lived far different lives from her, and she could hardly believe the stories they told and got to experience. It made her bitter though, after watching for a certain amount of time.

  Her heart seemed to grow as cold as the temperature outside, dropping to subzero climates as she watched the happy families and friendships that passed by. She took a deep breath, wrapping her shaky arms around herself as snow slid off her arms, leaving burning red skin behind. She guessed she'd take a page out of their books and pray to a fake entity for a gift or two. Scarlet closed her eyes and wished she had a bed and new clothes, something warm to eat and a place to go. Those things were simple, something she should've already been blessed with, especially a good parent, or two. She chuckled to herself at the thought, a cruel and harsh sound. She didn't like who she was and how she felt when she saw all those happy people pass by, she didn't like that she wanted to kill them all with her bare hands.

Such morbid thoughts for a child to have, but she wished for it to come true, nonetheless. A child didn't know the consequences of death quite yet, nor the feeling of blood sinking into her flesh. She staggered to her feet, a sort of burning numbness sweeping through her legs as she stumbled towards the back of the alley. Her red, bruised feet dragging through the snow as she flopped down against the back wall, her breath clouding in front of her as she heaved a shuddering sigh. Her teeth chattered, making their own menacing cacophony as her long lashes fluttered, snow melting along them as her eyelids fell shut. Every time she drew a breath in, the icy air burned her lungs, her whole body on fire due to the cold. She shook violently, fearing this would be the end; death by winter, legacy unfulfilled, status: a stupid grubby child who did nothing in life except be hated.

  Scarlet was on the brink of passing out when she felt a heavy warmth flop on top of her, whatever air she had left rushing out of her as she opened her eyes, startled to find her sister holding her close. "Domino, what on god's green earth are you doing?" She breathed, those few words taxing enough that she had to try and recover as her sister snuggled into the crook of her neck. She wheezed, ice scorching her lungs before she sighed at the feeling of her sister embracing her.

  She sat there for a moment, her eyes burning along with the rest of her body, inside and out. She stayed there, stiff and rigid as stone before melting at the sight of her sister resting against her. She acted annoyed, irritated even at the existence of her sister, but it was a good irritation. It was a spark that kept her going, the need to protect, something to fight for other than her pathetic destiny she believed herself to have. Wrapping her arms around Domino, she pulled her close, and they stayed there in silence for minutes on end, the only sound the city and the soft patter of water. The snow fell up one them in droves, soft and slow as she gave what warmth she had left to her sister.

  Plenty of thoughts ran through her head as she combed her bony fingers through her sisters dirty hair. Before she could even utter a word, Domino spoke up first, "Do you want to play skipping stones? To warm up?" Scarlet stilled for a moment, the overwhelming urge to rot in the snow taking hold for a breath of a second.

  "Sure." She said in more of a sigh than she meant to, gently cupping her sisters flushed face. Her hands shook from the numbing cold, her breath misting the air as her expression softened a fraction of an inch for Domino.

Before she could speak anymore, a strange look flashed through her sisters eyes as she scrambled to her feet. "Mom said she'd be back later than usual today." The way she said it, the slight edge to her voice had Scarlets hackles lifting. She didn't take much notice, it was her sister after all, she was odd in more ways than one.

  She grunted, the snow burning the soles of her feet as she rose up to follow after her sister. It was quiet in the alley they called home, but their bond was what kept them warm, loneliness could never truly find its place here. Her trembling fingers wrapped around the weathered stone as she prepared to throw it. The rules of the game were as this- throw it the farthest or shortest distance to win, depending on how they felt that day. Their minds were always changing anyway.

  Today however, they'd made the decision to throw it the farthest, hoping it would warm their bones and clear their minds. Scarlet reared her arm back, sucking in a searing breath that made her lungs ache before she tossed the rock roughly. It went flying, streaming through the snow streaked air before landing right before the wall of the nearby building. She felt pride well in her chest as she folded her arms and huffed arrogantly at her sister. "Beat that!" Whenever she was with Domino, it was the one and only time she could freely express herself, allow her ambitions and words spew forth with no fear of judgement.

Domino gave her usual pout, focus etched in every crease of her expression before she tossed the rock. Her weak throw didn't go unnoticed by Scarlet, she stood there for a moment and thought to herself. Her sister always threw it her hardest, no matter if it bounced off the wall or not, and that was where her fault lied. Unease began to creep along her spine, chills not just from the cold forming goosebumps along her flesh. "I guess better luck next time," the little girl breathed before jogging to get the stones they'd used to play.

  And there it was, that fear, that utterly human fear that scorched her veins as quick as the shadows flooding the alley. She dashed forward, the white powder and slick concrete seeming to slip out from under her as time began to slow. She reached out, going for her sister, only to be met by a harsh stare that sent her reeling. Her breath hitched in her throat, her insides crawling into themselves as the hand she thought was reaching for her sister, came for her instead. She barely had time to even think before it wrapped tightly around her arm, the grip crushing what little hope she had left as it yanked her to the side.

  She couldn't comprehend what was happening, why did Domino look at her like that? Why was a stranger here? Why...? Scarlet knew then that home was the first grave, the catalyst that turned her devotion to rage. She couldn't stop the fury inside her from bubbling up like acid as she saw her mother step into the picture. She let out a feral sound, bordering on the edge of hysteria as the man behind her slammed her into the ground. She had lost control of her breathing now, her eyes darting around frantically as she saw her beast of a parent hug her sister. And the scorn they both looked at her with turned her blood as cold as the winter that had befallen them.

  What was this to them? A game? The scream that crawled out of her throat caught the attention of many on the streets, but none would help her. They were all bystanders who would do nothing better than watch and walk along. That was the sad truth of the world. She raged in the vice grip of the man, his furry face and blank expression only serving to further her fractious behavior. She breathed in and out, gasping for air as she howled and squirmed. She guessed her mother had heard enough as she signaled for the man to silence her. It was quick and painless, a sharp hit to her head that sent blackness across her vision.

  This wasn't how it was supposed to end, she didn't even get to say what she wanted. And that thought alone, made her boil with loathing, even in her sleep.