The Growth of a Forest

Date Numero Dos

So back to Andrew. The ice cream date went along well, I suppose, because he asked me out again (via fb messenger) the same evening of the first date. He didn't do it in person. We also had an awkward hug in the parking garage, when I was saying bye to him. It was awkward because I didn't want to hug him (or more accurately, I was already turning away when he raised his arms in expectation of a hug).

The second date was to this cute restaurant in a nearby town, near his college, called Sweet Basil. The food was really nice (I'm actually kind of annoyed that we were talking so much, I didn't get to finish half of my food) and I wish I had packed it away. But I couldn't hear the waiters (nor Andrew) over the din of the other diners, so I relinquished my less-than-half eaten meal without realizing it myself. And it was expensive too!

I refused to let him pay for me, as I knew I didn't want to go out with him again and felt bad about sort of letting him down. I know, I'm such a freaking saint. I should have let him pay-- when I told my friend that I paid him back for my meal, she was all "why would you do that? Why didn't you punish him for wasting your time by letting him use his own money?". I felt guilty about not returning his interest and also slightly pressured to because students at my college are very vocal feminists. We want equal treatment of all genders (not going to assume heteronormativity) and it would be stupid to have double standards for males-- one for when he's not your date and one when he is. So I paid $24 for a chicken parmesan that I barely touched. Urgh.

The fact that I've focused so much attention on my food in this entry should tip you off that I did not think much of the dinner date. It was fine, again. He was fine, again. Everything was just fine, again. It was also a bit awkward, because I think he might have wanted to hold my hand during our post-dinner walk. But I always kept my arms crossed behind my back, so he never got the chance.

We spoke more about his work, my work in the lab, and how picture files are compressed. The last part was actually very interesting. I wish he had opened with that. It was towards the end of the date and I was therefore unable to fully understand how picture files are compressed. If he had opened with that, the dinner would have gone along much better (I think). Not that learning about his father's Italian family isn't interesting. I just think that it's important to establish common interests before delving into your family history... Because who the heck will be interested in your family history when they don't even know if they're interested in you romantically? (other than your family doctor, I mean)

I really wish he opened with the topic of picture compression...

Dear diary, I'm sorry for letting you down. You probably expected me to be gushing all about how wonderful the date was and how I can't wait to see him again. But HE DID IT AGAIN. He asked me out on another date through message again. Instead of in person. Because heaven forbid we make plans to meet up again in the future at the end of the date. That would just be too odd and look too eager.

Anyways, he messaged me again later that night, asking me if I wanted to explore the city with him sometime. I freaked out and messaged my friend for tips on how to politely refuse and replied (the next day, because there's this unspoken social expectation for you to give it a few days before reaching out to a potential love interest) "I'm afraid I like you more platonically than romantically. If we ever hang out, I just want it to be as just friends."

I think I handled that pretty well.

He sorta knew it was coming too (or was trying to soothe his wounded ego) because he replied "I was suspecting that. But hanging out is cool with me too" I haven't messaged him since.