Dear Anne

Letter #18

Dear Anne,

I was concerned that you wouldn't open my current email. I'm so glad you did. I changed the address so father couldn't track me. He'll catch up with me eventually. I suspect he already had a private detective on my trail. Did I tell you I've run away before? Well, I have a history of running away. I was twelve the first time, shortly after mother passed away. I made it to the bus station. Father brought me home with all kinds of promises. Promises he never kept.

You might think it's silly. I'm a grown man and still running away from father. He makes me do it. I can't live under his repression and depression. It's far too much for me to handle. I'm not getting into the control issues. I expect you get that. I've already talked about it way too much. It's a thing though. Please understand that.

Vienna is nice so far. I've walked the city and feel comfortable here. Funny, I never thought of Austria as a destination. Life is all so random these days. I had to get away fast and it was the fastest place I could go. I could have ended up in Mexico City or Tokyo. It was all the same to me. I guess I'm drawn to Europe.

You traveled in Europe, I think. It was the UK, wasn't it? I remember you saying you wished you'd taken the time to see more of Europe, but you were restricted to your time. Please come over. You are always welcome wherever I am. I've asked you so many times, but you hesitate.

How is your job going at Macys? Do you like it? Are you still finding time to write? I bet you are. Once you start writing, you must continue. It's obsessive, like painting.

I must paint. It will drive me crazy if I don't. Father doesn't understand me. Everything is black and white for him. There aren't any shades of gray in his life. Just one or the other—no in-betweens. That's why we don't get along.

Marvel suggested we are too much alike, father and me. I argued with her. We are not alike at all. I'm like mother. Mother had an artistic flare. She could see colors and knew the world for what it was—a vast array of different people and cultures. Marvel says father is too vanilla. He wants everyone to think and act like him. I can't; I long for my freedom. Don't you agree, Dear Anne? We should all have our freedom.

You don't have the same problems I have. Your family supports you and encourages you. You can't understand my predicament. If I don't run away, I live under father's thumb.

I'm rambling about father. He irked me, and I can't get him out of my mind. I think about it at night and can't sleep. I need therapy. I've had it before, and it helps a little. Still, I'm so frustrated. I take deep breaths and count to ten. After ten, I'm calm for a while, but it creeps back in. Can you understand that?

I love you, Anne. I missed you. I wanted to see you desperately. It makes me sad that I had to bypass you to get away from father. Forgive me. I will see you next time. That's a promise. You can come to me in Vienna any time you like. There is always room for you although I only have a one-room flat.

Corey

xxx