The Girl Underground

Chapter 16: These Broken Wings Still Fly

         Chapter 16: These Broken Wings Still Fly

In the weeks that followed John's confession, Malia found every reason to avoid them meeting again. She hid the letters, and stored the necklace away deep in the crevices of her shelves so Jane wouldn't find them. She stowed away anything that reminded her of John, as though that would help her forget. She had to.

How could he love her? Did it not take time for a man to fall in love with a woman? They had not had much of it together, perhaps a month at most! And he had a wife, and children! Malia was instigating a horrible sin and she had to stop.

And yet... And yet...

When he had said those words to her, Malia had felt as though she was flying. She had been afraid and confused and almost angry, but still it felt amazing to hear it. She knew she had no regrets, but she was trying to, because it was the right thing to regret this, the honorable thing.

And yet...

Shaking her head, Malia looked out the window and saw that the sun was just rising. They would come knocking any minute now, and the chores of the day would begin once more, just like the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that. Nothing in Dawn-Bridge had changed. Everything would be the same as it was before, but Malia would still feel her world weight down on her. She couldn't imagine anyone else suffering as she was at the moment, and that was a selfish thought.

"You can do this," she whispered to herself, low enough so that Jane wouldn't hear, even though she was a heavy sleeper. "You can get through this. One day at a time, you can do this."

But could she? The thought of not seeing John again tore at her heart. She wanted to be with him, she did, but not at the expense of both of their honors, especially his. She was a servant, the worst they could do was send her back to India or far away, but he was the Magistrate! What would this sort of scandal do to him? He would lose everything. She was doing him a favor, staying away. She was doing him a favor...

God, but it hurt. The right thing often did.

Malia threw herself into her work that day, and found herself quickly forgetting all thoughts that would surely haunt her later. There was so much to do but, as always, Malia worked like a woman possessed, never once slowing down for fear that it would distract her. Before Mr. Boatwright's noon day walk, she had completed more than half her chores, and was making her way down to the servant's dinning room for lunch.

"Malia, wait!"

Pausing, Malia turned and saw Brandon approaching her. She folded her hands in front of her and smiled lightly, though she felt her nerves shoot well through the roof.

"Good day, Brandon," they had not spoken since she told him of what she had seen in the woods with Abigail and Arthur. "How are your duties treating you?"

"Fine, just fine," he looked at her oddly. "How... How are things with you?"

"Me?" Malia widened her already-fake smile. "Great! Amazing, in fact, I'm actually having a really good day, thank you for asking."

"Right..." He cleared her throat and sighed. "Look, Malia, if ever want to talk more about what you told me a few nights ago... I know it must still be bothering you."

"It's not, I just needed to get it off my shoulders."

"Alright, then what of your late night excursions?"

Malia tensed at that. "I'm still not ready to tell you about that, Brandon, and you're going to have to stop pressing me about it."

Really, he had not been. In fact, this was the first time he had asked her after he promised to cover for her.