The third wheel

The rift

Beginning of the angst ‼️‼️😝😝
JUNS POV
I'm no stranger to being distracted, but today, everything feels... off. I've been staring at the group chat on my phone, watching Tatsuya and Haruki's messages pop up as they plan to meet for lunch, and I haven't responded. It's not like me to ignore them, but lately, something has been weighing on my mind.

I toss my phone onto my bed, running a hand through my hair, and fall back into the mattress. My head spins with thoughts I've been trying to push away. Haruki and I have been good—better than good, really. He's always there with his gentle smile, his warm hand on my head, telling me everything's going to be alright. But lately, there's been this nagging feeling in my chest, like something's slipping through my fingers, and I can't figure out what.

It's not Haruki. I know that. He's perfect—too perfect, sometimes. Always calm, always understanding. And that's part of the problem. It's like no matter what I do, no matter how much I mess around or cause trouble, he's there, unshaken. He never seems... worried.

And then there's Tatsuya. I've noticed the way he's been looking at us, like he's caught between amusement and something else—something deeper, maybe. I try to laugh it off, tease him like I always do, but I can feel it. He's distant, in that way where he pretends everything's fine, but it's not. He's always been the serious one, the one who grounds me when I'm spiraling, but lately, he's been pulling away, like there's this invisible wall between us.

I grab my phone again, scrolling through old pictures—the three of us, hanging out like we always do. We're smiling, laughing, just being us. But something about the recent ones feels different. Tatsuya's smiles are smaller. His eyes don't light up the way they used to. And Haruki... he's still smiling, but even he seems like he's holding something back.

I don't know when this all started. Maybe it's been there for a while, and I just didn't want to see it.

There's a knock on my door, and before I can answer, Haruki walks in. He doesn't even need to knock, not with us. We're past that. But today, I'm caught off guard, and I don't have the energy to plaster on my usual grin.

"Jun?" His voice is soft, filled with that gentle concern that makes my heart squeeze.

I sit up, forcing a smile. "Hey, Kimi. What's up?"

He doesn't buy it. He never does. "Tatsuya's waiting for us. You didn't reply to the messages."

"Yeah, sorry," I mumble, rubbing the back of my neck. "I just... I'm not feeling it today."

Haruki walks over, sitting beside me on the bed. His hand finds my hair, like it always does, brushing it back gently. It's such a small gesture, but it makes my chest tighten even more. "You okay?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

I don't answer right away. I just stare at the floor, trying to gather the right words, but everything feels jumbled in my head. Finally, I let out a long breath. "I don't know."

Haruki stays quiet, waiting for me to continue. He's good at that—waiting. Never pushing. Always giving me space to figure things out.

But today, it's not helping. I need him to say something. I need him to notice that things aren't okay, that I'm falling apart and I don't know how to stop it. But he just sits there, patient and calm, like always.

I pull away from him, standing up and pacing the room. "Don't you ever... worry? About us?" I ask, my voice sharper than I intended.

Haruki looks up at me, confused. "Worry? What do you mean?"

"I mean," I pause, trying to figure out how to say it, "don't you ever wonder if this is too good to be true? Like... like maybe something's going to go wrong and we're just pretending everything's perfect?"

Haruki frowns, standing up and stepping closer to me. "Jun, where's this coming from?"

I laugh bitterly, shaking my head. "I don't know, okay? I just—" I stop, running a hand through my hair again. "It's like everything's fine, but it feels like it's not. Like there's this... distance. Between us. Between you and Tatsuya. Between all of us."

Haruki's expression softens, and he reaches out, but I step back before he can touch me again. "Jun, if something's bothering you, we can talk about it. But you're overthinking. We're fine. You and I, Tatsuya... we're still close."

"Are we?" I ask, my voice breaking. "Because it doesn't feel like it."

Haruki stares at me, his brow furrowed. "What are you talking about? Of course we are."

I open my mouth to respond, but the words catch in my throat. Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. But then why do I feel like I'm losing them? Like we're all drifting apart and I'm the only one who notices?

"I just... I don't want to lose this," I say quietly, my voice barely above a whisper.

"You're not going to lose anything, Jun," Haruki says, stepping closer again, this time resting his hands on my shoulders. "We're here. I'm here. Tatsuya's here. We're not going anywhere."

I look into his eyes, searching for something—anything—that would ease this knot in my chest. And maybe it's there, in the way he's looking at me, so sure and steady. But I can't shake the feeling that something's off. Something's been off for a while now, and no matter how much he reassures me, it won't go away.

I nod, even though I don't believe him. "Yeah, okay."

Haruki gives me a soft smile, leaning in to kiss my forehead. It's comforting, familiar, but it doesn't reach the gnawing uncertainty inside me.

"Tatsuya's waiting," he says again, his hand sliding down my arm to take mine. "Let's go."

I don't move right away. Instead, I glance at my phone again, the messages from earlier still unanswered. Tatsuya's last message is simple—"Meet you guys soon?"

Something about it makes my chest tighten again, and for a split second, I wonder if he feels it too. If he feels the distance that's been growing between us. Between all of us.

But Haruki's hand is warm in mine, pulling me gently toward the door, and I follow. Because that's what I do. I follow, even when I'm not sure where we're going anymore.

And as we walk toward Tatsuya, that knot in my chest doesn't loosen. It only tightens.