Random Chapters Of Books I'm Too Afraid To Make

Befriended(Love)

     Max sighed as she sat at her desk for, what felt like, the billionth time that day. She had been up and out and down and everywhere, not getting a break. The only thing that had been on her mind for the past 2 hours, was bed. Well, that and another thing. But the outcome was, she couldn't sleep, even with how tired she was.     She grabbed her phone. The dark screen gave away a reflection of her blank face. Nothing could amuse her and she certainly wasn't tired yet. The math homework was a good distraction, but only for a time before she got bored again. Everything she did reminded her of him. His smile. His laugh. He was such a terrible hugger, but she would do anything to get one more hug from him. 

     No, he wasn't dead. Nor did he move away and forget about her. But he might have with the circumstances at hand. Max flicked on her phone, revealing the photo of her dad and sister. The two girls leaned in and kissed his cheeks while he laughed. Just judging by the pictures, everyone could tell you what a loving, happy, understanding family they were. When under clean wraps, it was obvious they were not. Other than just her, her dad, mum, and sister, the family was never really close. As much as they were all tied together, was the same as they had their disagreements. This concluded not too well when the root of the family, Max's father's mother, had died of illness.

     Max's family was left in pieces. It hurt Max both physically and mentally. Not many of the family members took it well and it hadn't taken most of them 2 years to finally get somewhere. It most definitely hurt when Max found out it put a dent in her mother's relationship with the Lord. But no matter- there was nothing they could do. Max continued to live on the Bible and some wise words of Kyojuro Rengoku from an anime she enjoyed watching.

     This boy she kept thinking of was named Colton. A simple name, really. However, she never minded. Names' never bothered her no matter what they were. Fantasy books had helped her with that. Colton had been her dream guy. Either as a brother figure or future boyfriend, she didn't know. He worked hard, had a firm foundation with the Lord, and was loving and kind to everyone around him. He rarely uttered a cruel word against someone. He had an amazing relationship with his parents and younger sister. He was truthfully what she had been looking for in a man. This had been something she struggled with for a long while. She liked him as a brother figure, her life felt complete like that. Sort of. Although, her mind would sometimes sub-consciously drift to ideas of their relationship if they had dated. Like, where would they be if she told him about her past? What would they look like as a couple? Did he ever think of these too? Well, he must have, considering what his friends told her had been true. She didn't doubt it. Everyone but her had seen it immediately. With the way, his eyes looked away too fast, as if he felt guilt for looking at her for too long. He lingered closer to her in conversations. He was calmer around her to not scare her and match her energy. This had been before he stopped going to church.

     The pain of losing him was unbearable. She had lost an uncountable amount of friends and "friends" growing up. They had never hurt as much as this. If she had known this was what the pain of losing him felt like, she would probably never have spoken to him in the first place. Nevertheless...she loved every moment with him. From that first awkward smile he had given her before they said hi to that time she held onto him for just a few more seconds than normal. She wouldn't have changed a thing between them and she was proud to call him her friend. But who wouldn't? The boy was almost perfect. The girls swooned over him. All the guys wanted to be his friend. So why had he looked at her? Was it the way Max had a strong faith in the Lord? Or had it simply been because Max shared interest and curiosity in everything they talked about?

     Whatever the case, that was in the past. She hadn't seen him in over 6 months. And despite the pain and guilt she felt, she pushed away every feeling she had towards him to keep it from hurting her.