arin's beginning

Chapter 12 Consequences

The first thing I recognize is the sound of a fire crackling nearby. I raise my hand to my head and suddenly I'm aware of the pounding there. It feels like someone is chipping away at my head with a tiny hammer. I groan as I dig my palms into my eyes.

"Good morning sleepy head," I hear Tag say. "You had quite an adventure while I was gone huh?" The clatter of dishes opens my eyes. I turn my head slowly and see only red. I reach my hand out toward the shadow I see in the red, and it stops. Suddenly the world shifts and then a barrage of colors and lights appears. I snap my eyes shut and groan again. "You probably should have warned him you were moving." He says.

A hot gust of wind washes over my face and then a pressure against my side nearly rolls me over. The pressure disappears and then a hand on my shoulder starts lifting me up. "Easy now, kid" Tag is at my side helping me sit up. "Eat this, it'll help." he presses something into my hands, and I open my eyes again and see a square of chocolate there. Tag raises my hand to my face and I take a small nibble. The chocolate is sweet and melts quickly as I chew it. The pounding lessens a bit.

"How long has it been?" I look around, the campsite is cleaned up and ordered. I take another bite of chocolate. There is no sign of the fight or the bodies. "What happened? The last thing I remember is a couple men appearing. Then it's a blur."

"We were hoping you could tell us, actually. Ax and I showed up about the same time and found you on the ground covered in blood. Since then it has been a few hours. Sun is going down here soon." I squeeze my eyes shut and the memories come flooding back.

"Oh gods," I feel the blood drain from my face and brace my arm against the ground. Tag's hand is at my shoulder again. "It was a couple of Clan scouts. Big bald guy, and a skinny bearded one. I killed them." my breathing gets shallow and fast. "Tag I killed them!" I turn and look at him, searching his eyes.

He grabs my neck, "Hey, look at me. Look at me Arin," he gently forces me to look at him. "Arin. Death happens. It does. Whether you want it to or not."

"But they died because of me!" I say.

"Yes, you killed them. If you didn't, they would have killed you and they would have killed Brann." My breathing slows. "You are a Rider now, Arin. Killing someone is an unavoidable piece of our lives."

"But Master Randerick taught me that I should never take a life. It is a healer's obligation and duty to help people no matter what." I look away towards the fire.

"He is right. It is a Healer's duty. But you aren't a Healer anymore, Arin. Do you know why Healer's take that oath?" I shake my head, "It is because the knowledge they have about the body makes them more lethal than any soldier or assassin. Master Randerick knows more about how our bodies work than anyone else. He knows how much ether to use to make someone fall asleep but not kill them. He can take one of his little blades and scrape out any infection, and leave only the healthy flesh." I remember watching that exact scene many times back in the surgery.

"But killing is wrong, isn't it?" I look at my hands, remembering the blood. I look at Tag. He hesitates before he speaks.

"Killing is a grey area. Taking someone's life should never be done lightly." Tag moves to his bag before going to the fire. He dishes out a bowl of hearty-smelling soup for us both then sits across from me.

Taking someone's life is complicated. Taking it for sport or pleasure is wrong, and the council will not back you or any other rider who murders wantonly. But before we continue this conversation, let's hear the details of what happened. Ax shifts his wings.

I take a breath and tell them what I remember, noticing the sounds, of Brann sleeping. Killing Baldy first, struggling with Beardy before falling on his back. My breath is shaky as I finish recounting.