That Night In Seoul

PROLOGUE

Mom and Dad are at it again. With the lightest of footsteps and the heaviest of heart, Anna crept nearer and pressed her ear to the door. Not a day of peace since Dad came back from his trip.

The conversation on the other end was loud yet garbled. But she knew what it was even when she couldn't make out the words. "I am done." Or something like that. At least that's what she imagined her mother had said. And then there was nothing but silence which felt even worse. Thru the space that separated her from her parent's, she could almost see smoke imbued with hatred and futility seeping through the carpeted flooring and the door. This was it. She knew by the way her insides churned, by the deadweight silence on the other end. Her mother was finally leaving.

Anna slumped to the floor breathing in short, shallow bursts. For a few seconds, she was transported back to that dark attic in the middle of the forest, where she was held captive for three days. Taking deep breaths and clutching the sides of her pajama, her week-old nails penetrated the soft cotton fabric and lightly pierced the skin of her thighs. Anna wanted to run far away, the way she did in that forest. The impulse was almost unbearable. But where would she go? She was safe at home.

The swift patter of footsteps jolted Anna to the present. She scurried to the front entrance, hiding behind the oversized curtains to the right of the main door. Her bony hands were taut and veiny from gripping the fabric too tight. Anna tried the breathing exercise taught to her by her therapist. Inhale deep 3 seconds, hold, breathe in another 3, then exhale for 8 counts. The oxygen flooded her brain and slowed the beat of her racing heart. Biting her lower lip to keep from sobbing, Anna closed her eyes.

A door opened then slammed. She heard the whirring of wheels and the familiar sound of her mother's steps. A woman and her luggage inside a home she would leave for good. And a daughter she could never take. The light came through as the curtains were drawn and when she opened her eyes, her mother's lovely, weepy face came into view. A couple of amber strands adhered by dried-up tears stuck to Elena's face like a wild weed. Unnecessary, but somehow added to the drama.

Her mother gazed at her for a few seconds, not bothering to put up any pretense that all was fine as she usually did. The edges of her full lips quivered. It curled up to reveal the saddest smile that Anna had ever seen. Elena held her arms wide for her and Anna instantly jumped into them. The way her mother's hair smelled of fresh flowers even when it seemed she hadn't combed in years or the fuzzy warmth that barreled through a human of such tormented state, Anna captured it all.

"I tried, Anna. I'm so sorry." Elena whispered with no hint of self-pity.

After a while, she let go of Anna and stood up. Elena sloppily wiped her face and reached for the luggage. It was whirring again in no time. She was off. Then she stopped midway. She turned her head 180 degrees and stared at Anna in that awkward pose. Anna's heart skipped because for a second she felt her mother waver. But something in Elena's expression clicked and then her voice took on steel. "Listen to me. When the time comes, don't ever let these people run your life for you. As soon as you can -- get out! Do you understand?

At 12 years of age, Anna understood.