𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇. meguru bachira

XI

Did you know? Did you care? She laughs at the very thought of it. It's so foolish. "You know, humans need to be broken to be fixed." She knows she's talking to herself. She knows none of this makes sense. She knows she's losing her mind. She just doesn't know if she cares. She doesn't know if she's still yet to be broken.

It's for the better. She tries to desperately convince herself of that. That obvious lie. His face, his beautiful face. That soft skin of his. He was just Megs. She chuckles at the nickname. She got attached. She got stupidly attached. She needs to get out of this hell. She needs Shoei. She needs him. She needs care.

She needs cracks. She needs the glass to prick her skin. She needs to fall into a deep sleep. Will he come to wake her? Eris couldn't focus on anything. The shaking of the earth as if the forces were pulling her worlds apart. 'Celebrate together.' She couldn't stand the sight of that man. Not him.

Never him again. The very memory of everything was just... terrifying. Fear was a luxury she couldn't buy with the millions she owned. Her legs trailed along the path. X... Her hands gentle as she knocked. The door opened with his familiar scowl. They've talked here before. They've talked out of here before.

It's different. It's different when she desperately needs him. "Eris?" The familiar feeling of her name on his tongue calmed her. He exits the room, slamming the door shut instantly. It's just the two of them, but they know ego's watching. Just not when she leads him into her room. No cameras, no anything. Just them.

"Him, right? It was him again." She nods. Barou seems angry at the thought. "You know you should cry." His gruff voice softer at the sight of her shivers. She shakes her head. "I can't cry.. I don't cry. If I cry, he wins." Barou sighs. "You've already given up, haven't you? So, just cry." He was right. She didn't want to acknowledge it, but she had stopped trying.

The concept of freedom remained only a fleeting dream to her. "I can't. It doesn't matter if I lose; he just can't win." He doesn't protest. He pulls her into his chest, an all too familiar notion. She missed it. "I know. Just breathe, Eris. You're shaking." She finally acknowledges it – the fearful being she's been turned into.

Breathe. Her breath no longer quickened, her eyes no longer threatening to pool, her body no longer withholding her from peace. It was just the same as they had been back then. His head down on hers. Eris has seen a side of Barou that he never planned to expose to anyone else. It took him so long to crack the walls that she's made.

Everything was just different when they were together. "Sorry for this. I really needed it." She breathes out. She feels strangely ashamed of how she broke down like that. She knows she'll see him tonight. She knows she'll die tonight only to walk the streets another day. She knows that she's finally going to burn.

You can't fix everything when you break them. You can't fix it if you burn it. You can't pile up the ashes to form them back together. They just turn to dust as they fly away so far out of reach like the fleeting dreams she can't help but have. Dreams of her standing with him.

Dreams of joy, dreams of love, dreams she knows will always just remain a premonition. Maybe in her next life, she'll hold his hand as he tells her lies about bees. But not in this one. Never in this one. Not even when he's waiting for her in the halls. He doesn't know why, but it's not his monster compelling him to do it.

He alone wants to know she's okay. "Your leg, has it stopped?" He doesn't know what to say. He's always so unserious, but he doesn't know if that's right. "I don't know." She doesn't really mind. "You don't feel it?" She shakes her head. She can feel the blood running down, but her body is so accustomed to pain. "No, not really."

Bachira looks dumbfounded but worried. He's worried for her, and she can't understand it. She can't understand the idea of someone thinking of her like that. He comes closer to her, little by little. Like he's approaching a cat. She can't even blink before she feels hands around her. No. She doesn't want to give in. She won't.

She's not weak. She doesn't just break down whenever she's comforted, right? That's why her lips aren't shaking. "Please, I don't. I don't know how to do this, but you need someone to. And I don't want that someone to always have to be him." She didn't cry, really. Tears fell down her face, but she wasn't sobbing. It was almost involuntarily.

Eris didn't cry. Eris didn't love. Eris didn't care. Eris didn't need. But right now, he was everything she needed in that moment. "I bet some bees really don't make honey. But I bet all humans cry, and you're human." Human. Eris wasn't humanised. She's always been treated as if she's not herself. Like she doesn't feel the same way everyone else does.

But he so genuinely makes her feel alive. Makes her feel as if she'll still breathe even when she dies. It's a dangerous feeling that she's getting high off of. It feels her with so much dopamine that it's incredible. It feels like nicotine, and Gods, she likes to smoke.

—☆—

I love this chapter so much !!
Nobody will be able to convince me tht this is not so amazingly poetic raah

Eat well sleep well, and dont forget to hydrate. And vote pretty please I'm so proud of this

I HOPE U LIKED IT THO SMH
Good night, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, my loves.