Pining

Chapter 1

I have a best friend. His name is Nicolas. Or Nic, Nico, hell, I even call him by his real name, Nicolai, sometimes. But only to tease him.

And, you see, there's something about this guy. Besides the fact he's cute, really smart, like an academic weapon, and hilarious, he's also.. strangely attractive. But, best friends shouldn't think of each other like that, right? Two guy best friends, no less.

But, god, his cologne drives me crazy. I even started hugging him just so that I could get a whiff of it. What is it? Vanilla, cinnamon, god, it suits him so well. I like to call him a teddy bear sometimes, and that makes him laugh. I want to cuddle with him like one, would his bed be big enough for two?- Okay, maybe let's not.

The point is, he's pretty cool. No, really cool. We met in the first week of high school, in biology 9 class, like, 3 years ago. We sat next to each other, and the first thing I noticed was his brunette hair, a bit longer than his shoulders and obviously cut by himself. Choppy, messy, uneven, you name it. But fuck it if it wasn't adorable. Then he bleached it, dyed it red at some point, and now we're sitting on his bed, in his bedroom, playing Mario Kart, with his red dye now long faded, now a bit orangey. But the only thing I can pay attention to is the overwhelming smell of him. Right next to me. Not to mention his soft lips, a soft pink- would I stop?!

"Hey, man, what chapstick do you use?"

It slips out, really, but i've gotta ask. It'll probably kill me not to ask.

"Uhh, it's like, flavoured and stuff. Watermelon. Don't remember the brand."

His tongue darts out for a moment to taste his lip, and all I want is for his tongue to be mine. And his voice, god, his voice. A bit gruff, and an European accent, it drives me nuts. One time he had to present a presentation in a class we used to share, and I almost fell asleep to his voice, but not in the bad way. The bored way, no, his voice... it does shit to me. I could fall asleep to it any day, next to him..- okay, that's enough.

"Oh, flavoured? Shit, man, that's cool! You got any other flavours?"

"M'yeah, I think so. I'll give one to you if you'd like, but after this round."

That's fair, but i'm in last place by now because all I can focus on is him. And, of course, he comes in first place. Like always. He always does this thing when he wins, throws his arms in the air and he has his goofy, wonky, adorable smile on his face..

But, anyway, now he's standing up and walking to his bathroom to grab, what was it? Chapstick? I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. Only to his voice. And, now, I feel.. strangely empty. There's only the faint smell of his cologne left and my body moves on its own.

Suddenly, i'm standing at the door of his bathroom and just.. staring at him. I don't even know if he had noticed me or not. He's squatting on the floor in front of his sink, searching that little cabinet area under it. I lean in, purely to take another whiff, and then speak.

"Found it yet?"

The scream he releases is high-pitched, almost girly. But that was on accident, I wasn't thinking straight. He falls back onto me, and I catch him.

"Божа мой! Што за хрен?!"

Oh, yeah, did I mention? He's from Belarus, or something. Moved here in grade 9, and by here, I mean Canada. (Yes, this story takes place in Canada.)
Sometimes when he's, like, really angry or scared, he'll just blurt out some random shit in Belarusian. No clue what he says, but i've been thinking about learning for him. Would he appreciate that? We could use it as our secret code language. But, nah, i've got shit tons of homework, grade 12 is not for the weak. So, that's why I have a 278 day streak on Duolingo.

"Oh- shit, Nic, i'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you like that!"

I'm holding him up with my arms, squatted behind him. He glances at me over his shoulder, and he looks pissed. Wuh oh.

"It's fine, Matt, just don't do that again."

He replies, his voice a bit rougher. Damn it, I made him upset. But it's kinda hot.

"Hey, dude, seriously. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

He glances at me again, before going back to rummaging through the space under his sink. He mutters out an "it's alright". God, why did I do that? My body moved on its own, without even thinking about it! He probably thinks i'm a weirdo now, doesn't he?

But his cheeks had a bit of a pink tint to them. That doesn't mean anything, right?