Ruh ki Thirkan

Chapter 29: Ishika's POV - Torn Between Confusion and Pain

Ishika couldn’t stop trembling as she left Arav’s office. Her wrist ached where his fingers had dug into her skin, and the emotional sting of their confrontation weighed heavily on her chest. She glanced down, seeing the faint red mark where he’d grabbed her, a visible reminder of the intensity of his outburst.

*Why is he like this?* she thought, her mind racing as she walked down the hallway, her legs shaky beneath her. *What did I do to deserve this?*

The anger in his voice, the way his eyes had burned with jealousy—she couldn’t get it out of her head. She hadn’t done anything wrong. She and Raj were friends, nothing more. How could Arav even think otherwise?

*Why does he care so much?* That question echoed over and over in her mind. Arav’s words, full of jealousy and bitterness, had stirred something inside her that she couldn’t explain.

Ishika found herself retreating to the empty rehearsal room, the space where she always felt most at ease. But today, the room felt cold and unfamiliar, much like the way Arav had been acting. She rubbed her wrist absently, trying to soothe the soreness, both physical and emotional.

She stood in front of the mirror, her reflection staring back at her, but she barely recognized herself. There was an uncertainty in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. Her dream had always been to dance, to express herself through movement. But lately, everything felt tangled. Her emotions, her aspirations, and now, her complicated relationship with Arav.

Arav. The man who had once been a source of inspiration, who had ignited her passion for dance again, was now the very thing that confused her the most. His hot-and-cold behavior, the way he lashed out at her without warning—it made her feel small and powerless.

But there was something more beneath his anger. Something deeper. She had seen it in his eyes, felt it in the way he’d held her wrist so tightly, as if he were afraid of letting go. There was pain behind his rage, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with his past.

*Why can’t I just walk away from this? From him?*

But deep down, she knew why. Despite everything, despite his harshness and the tension between them, Arav was still the reason she felt alive when she danced. He was the one who had pushed her to her limits, challenged her in ways no one else had. And even now, after their explosive argument, a part of her couldn’t stop thinking about him. The way his voice had cracked with vulnerability. The way his jealousy had laid his emotions bare.

Ishika took a deep breath, trying to steady her thoughts. She needed to clear her head, to get back to the only thing that made sense to her—dance. She started moving, letting her body guide her through the routine they had been practicing, each step a familiar comfort.

But her mind wouldn’t let go of Arav. His face, the way his eyes had burned with anger, flashed before her eyes. The intensity of their confrontation kept playing on a loop, distracting her from the rhythm. Every time she tried to focus, a memory of his words—*“I can’t stand seeing you with him”*—sliced through her concentration.

She stopped mid-routine, her breath coming in shallow gasps. She hated how much his words affected her. Hated how the man she was supposed to learn from had become the very source of her turmoil.

Suddenly, the door to the rehearsal room creaked open. Ishika spun around, startled, expecting to see Arav. Her heart leaped into her throat, her pulse quickening. But it wasn’t him.

It was Raj.

“Hey, Ishika,” he said softly, stepping into the room with a concerned look on his face. “I saw you leave earlier. Are you okay?”

She forced a smile, though it felt hollow. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she lied, hoping he wouldn’t press further.

Raj, ever observant, wasn’t convinced. He moved closer, his eyes scanning her face for any sign of distress. “You sure? You seem… off.”

Ishika sighed, her shoulders sagging with exhaustion. She didn’t want to drag Raj into this. He had been nothing but kind to her, supportive even when she felt like the ground was crumbling beneath her feet.

“I’m just tired,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “It’s been a long day.”

Raj nodded, though his expression remained thoughtful. “If you ever need to talk, I’m here. You know that, right?”

His words were genuine, and for a moment, Ishika felt a wave of gratitude. At least someone in this place wasn’t making her life more complicated.

“Thanks, Raj,” she said softly. “I appreciate that.”

They stood there in silence for a moment, the tension from earlier dissipating slightly with Raj’s calming presence. But even as she spoke to him, her mind drifted back to Arav. She couldn’t stop thinking about him, no matter how much she tried.

Raj glanced at her wrist, his brow furrowing. “What happened there?” he asked, pointing to the faint red mark.

Ishika quickly pulled her sleeve down, covering the spot where Arav’s grip had left its impression. “Nothing. It’s fine.”

But Raj wasn’t buying it. His eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Did someone hurt you?”

*No, not someone,* she thought bitterly. *Just Arav.* But she couldn’t bring herself to say it aloud. How could she explain what had happened between them when she didn’t even understand it herself?

“It’s nothing,” she repeated, more firmly this time. “Really.”

Raj didn’t push further, though she could tell he wasn’t convinced. “Alright,” he said quietly. “But if something’s wrong, you can always talk to me. Don’t keep it bottled up.”

Ishika nodded, though her mind was elsewhere. She couldn’t talk to Raj about Arav, not when she herself didn’t know where she stood with him. Every interaction with Arav felt like walking on broken glass—painful, unpredictable, and dangerous. But something kept pulling her back to him, like a magnet she couldn’t resist.

Raj gave her a small, reassuring smile before turning to leave, and Ishika watched him go, her mind swirling with confusion.

As the door closed behind him, she collapsed onto the floor, burying her face in her hands. Her emotions were in turmoil—anger, frustration, hurt, and something else she didn’t want to name.

*Why do I care so much about what he thinks?*

Why did Arav’s opinion, his presence, affect her so deeply? She had never cared this much about anyone’s approval, not even her parents’. And yet, here she was, letting Arav’s words tear her apart piece by piece.

A soft sob escaped her lips before she could stop it, and for the first time in a long while, Ishika felt completely lost.

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Lots of Love
-Your Author 🌼