Insults day 1

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by 3rdtimeletsgo

by 3rdtimeletsgo

I hope you get hit by a bus where you have to use forearm crutches for years.

I hope you go to the hospital for a really bad injury so I can blatantly ignore you.

I hope you stub your toe and the second it heals you stub it again.

I hope you find both sides of your pillow warm and slightly wet every time you try and sleep.

I hope you wake up with a crick in your neck every single time.

I hope you step in freshly spat gum on the floor every time you wear new shoes or wash them.

I hope you get chased by a wasp every time you try and get a closer look at any flowers.

I hope one of your fingers gets numb and tingly for hours while you're trying to do something important.

I hope your shin bone hurts at the top by your knee so everytime you try and run or walk moderatly long distances, its starts hurting and you can't even wear a knee brace because it wouldn't work.

I hope you develope an alergy to most popular pain relievers you can buy over the counter.

I hope you get pushed into a dance circle completely sober and have to stand there while people laugh.

I hope evertime you try and ask someone for something, they have to continuously ask you to repeat what you said because they can't understand your accent.

I hope you never find a color of foundation that matches your skin and anytime you try and mix different tones, you'll still barely miss the right tone to the point it's still noticeable.

I hope your left and right mascara will forever be noticably crooked and uneven.

I hope someone bumps into you while you're trying to draw small details with something black so it ruins the whole thing.

I hope your computer deletes all your passwords and any that you physically wrote down gets lost until a week after you change it.

I hope every pair of pants you buy is the wrong size so you have to continuously return and reorder them.

I hope all your favorite shoes get a huge hole in them and evertime it rains you step into a deep puddle.

I hope you get an unwashable stain in every white shirt you own and every pair of pants by the crotch.

I hope you hit the same spot on your shin on a corner thats sticking out every morning.

I hope you hit your head and get a concussion right before any important meeting.

I hope everything you want to buy is on the top shelf and there's people around and a sign that says you can't climb it.

I hope you can't enjoy any ripe fruit for long because it molds after only a day or two and so you try and buy small quantities instead, but realize they're way too expensive to constantly afford so you can only afford fruit once every 3 weeks.

I hope you get diarrhea every other time you eat your favorite foods and it always kicks in at the wrong time. And everytime you try and use the bathroom there's a line so you have to go a farther bathroom. But anytime you try and go to the farther bathroom without checking the closer bathroom, the farther one has a long line so you have to run back to the first one.

I hope your clothes snatch you in the wrong places and your shoulders get unproportionaly broad so you can't ever find any tops that look decently good.

I hope you add slightly too much salt to everything that you make so no one can enjoy it anymore, not even yourself.

I hope you get annoyed at something someone does and do the same exact thing not even a minute later, realize you're doing it, but fail to stop yourself. And you try to tell other people but they just think your a jerk.

I hope you never feel the sensation of clothes fresh from the laundry again.