You Don't Want Me - Park Sunghoon

Chapter 1 : Highschool Without Her

Young-soon POV :

"it's my first day of highschool ,  I'd have never thought this first one of mine would be without you Yeji.." I said looking unamused near the funeral stone

"I'll try to make it memorable for you, if i have a guardian angel , i hope it is you so i can make sure i never do something that upsets you wihout being able to make up for it." i thought to myself hoping there would still be a bit of her left in my life

"You know i've behaved so selfishly these months , crying over you , to be honest i'll never publicly admit it but what showed me i was better than that was seeing sunghoon cry , can you believe it ? The  most composed guy we know falling before me , heart shattering , i don't know what it is he feels so guilty about but please , find a way to tell him  everything is good , because even i , who isn't particulary close to him , feel  sorry for him." I pleaded

"As always , i love you Yeji , rest in peace , i gotta go to school now "

making my way out of the graveyard i could see Sunghoon , "should i say hi ? will it bother him ? He must think i don't have anything to do with him anymore sice i was friends with Yeji , not him.. "

 i bought myself  banana milk on the way to school , hoping it would give me a little bit of energy.

Sunghoon POV :

I came in a little late ... maybe i should walk fast as to not be behind schedule.

"Hi yeji, do you kow how much more crazy i've gone since the last time i came to see you ? At least i'm crazy enough to be able to talk to you now , you know , i can't help but feel so guilty for not sharing my ice cream with you last time . Anyone else might think it's wild to feel so guilty because of ice cream but that's what loosing your sibling does to you i guess . 

I've seen Young-soon these days and she is brave.

She acts so awkward whenever i am around her , i must be a constant reminder for her that she lost her bestfriend , but i lost mine too.

 Sure , Junyeol is also my bestfriend , but you , you were my fate chosen bestfriend and he is alo trying to help Young-soon alot so guess i come off as second .

Mom and dad , i think their wound is so deep even i can't see it .

Should i make an effort not to run into your friend too much ? to make it easier for her ? Or would you have liked for me to try and talk to her ?haha my little sister , it's such a shame someone as good as you had to go , i should try and make up for it right ?  i can't waste my time crying when i could make you proud instead.

Love you , so , so much . bye" Sunghoon wiped a tear off as he  took exit from Yeji's graveyard , he'd at least get that done today. 

Making his way to school he starts missing who he was before his sister died . It is the first time he takes time to actually think about himself and not his sister. In some way it felt refreshing , this ray of sun shining through his way to school strangely resembles a ray of hope. 

This weather feels the same as the one from that day Yeji and Young-Soon snuck out to get ice cream when they were 14. Sunghoon , woken up from his nap by his mother got sent to search for them only to find Yeji on the ground shaking. He approached her and the closer he got he could perceive Young-Soon behind her. When he finally got close enough he made out the fact Yeji wasn't actually shaking from whatever danger men could give women but from the laughter Young-Soon's body ignited in her . Covered in smurfs colored  something and a face , red from laughing hard as well (contrasting with the something's blue) Young-Soon was looking really .. Special. 

That day he had to give her his shirt and ended up walking top naked from the alley to their neighborhood. He remembers Young-Soon never bothering to give him that shirt back but he wouldn't say anything to the closest person to his family , whatever .

At school a few months later :

"Miss Choi , i'm not sure my class is happening on the football court , please stay focused for the 10 remaining minutes " , the head teacher expressed with a light smile , still empathic but to be honest it felt more empathetic to Young-Soon .

Out this window , Young-Soon could see a group of people , it seemed to be Junyeol and sunghoon's friend group . It reminded her how these people helped her and Yeji's family so much doing the funeral and how they stayed until the end to help clean everything up , they were god-sent . They loved Yeji as well but they took it upon themselves to lift the situation up for everyone . 

Heeseung , Jeongsong , Jake , Seonu , Jungwon and Riki were the people she  learned what bravery was from for sure. 

She could see Sunghoon's face from here "The sun fits him a lot " she thought smiling to herself , this smile being a form of admiration towards him . Sure he liked keeping to himself alot , but growing up together means something . She knows enough about Sunghoon to have an idea of how much it took for him to even be able to come to school . She has to watch over him , that was what she was supposed to do for her friend's sake .

 So ever since this day , Young-Soon has made sure she saw Sunghoon smile at least once with his canines showing up ( or else it doesn't count) and if he didn't she would come to him and act goofy to at least get him to crack up a little one . After all , it's her first year in highschool but it's his last . 

"He should get to enjoy it , that's not fair" The 10th grader exclaimed to herself .

Yoiiiii , writing is actually so hard whattttt , i'm so tired these days but i've had a weird peak of motivation to write this chapter's other half after like two whole months...