5 Days

24 Hours

When I returned home, I found a quiet and
empty house. My mind was a whirlwind of
conflicting emotions part of me wanted
to stay with Marylle, knowing how much it
would hurt her, while another part was
overwhelmed by my own pain.

I lay down on the couch, trying to find some clarity, but instead, I was consumed by tears. I missed Marylle terribly and felt a profound sense of loneliness.

In my sorrow, I remembered Kian and
decided to reach out. I walked over to his
house and knocked on the door. When he
opened it and saw my tear-streaked face,
he immediately knew something was
wrong.

We spent the night drinking, playing
games, and talking. I shared my fears and
what I was planning, careful to gauge his
reaction.

Kian listened intently, his face reflecting a
mix of shock and concern. "Sean, you can't
do this," he said quietly. "There's so much
more to life, and your friends and family
care about you deeply. We can figure this
out together."

I thanked him and borrowed his phone to
check up on Marylle. We chatted briefly,
the normalcy of the conversation providing
a brief escape from the storm inside me.

I requested to stay the rest of the night at
Kian's place, explaining I needed time
away from home without delving into
specifics.

The next morning, I woke up and told Kian
that breakfast was ready. I borrowed some
clothes from him, not explaining why I had
sold mine.

We decided to go to karaoke again, this time inviting Mary, Kyle, and Soler, our classmates. At Karapara, we sang, played games, and danced, trying to create a sense of normalcy and distraction from the dark thoughts I had been grappling with.

We made fun of each other's voices, dance
moves, and played card games. I laughed
and joked, doing my best to hide the
turmoil beneath the surface. The laughter
was both a relief and a painful reminder of
the happiness I was trying to preserve for
others.

After the fun and laughter, I walked Marylle
home one last time. We said our goodbyes,
and I told her, "See you soon," though I
struggled to keep my emotions in check.
As I walked away, tears streamed down my
face, knowing that this was the last time
she would see me.

When I got home, the silence was almost
oppressive. I lay down on the couch, the
weight of my decision pressing heavily on
my chest. My mom and siblings were still
out, and I was alone with my thoughts, torn
between the pain I was feeling and the fear
of hurting Marylle. The room felt colder
than usual, and every tick of the clock
seemed to echo my inner turmoil.

I sat down and wrote letters to my family, friends, and especially Marylle. In my letter to my mom, I wrote, "l'm so sorry, Mom. I couldn't be the son you wanted me to be." For everyone else, I wrote, "l'm so sorry for all the trouble I caused. I hope you all take care of yourselves."

I went to my room, remembering all the times and memories i spent here. I stood on the chair and cried, missing Marylle more than I thought possible. The memories of our time together flooded back, each one a
reminder of the love and joy we shared.

I thought about how much she would miss
me, and the thought broke my heart even
more. It was in this moment of clarity and
sadness that I realized the depth of the
pain my departure would cause.

Finally, I took the step that had been
looming over me. I hung myself in my
room. The final act was both a release and
a tragic conclusion, leaving behind a void
in the lives of those who cared for me.