This is heaven in hiding

chapter 14

The verdict comes back late. So late.

They were close to a decision at five when the judge had checked and reluctant to break, so they kept deliberating.Chaeyoung walked back to her office to pace the floors. It's a skeleton crew still around, only the new associates and the workaholics are still there but no one pays any mind.

The past month and a half of hard prep all comes down to this. The past eight months of the entirety of the case, of Chaeyoung strategizing and researching and watching videos again and again and again.

The past week and a half of the actual trial. Of presenting her case, trying to put a neon sign around all the reasonable doubt .Of objections and arguments and new evidence. Of catching Jisoo's eyes from time to time in the back of the courtroom as she observed, as so many people observed.

Jennie, Murphy, Jungho. So many attorneys sitting in the pews. Even Raven popped in.

This case drawing spectacle of its own right, for its sheer outlandishness. So much of Chaeyoung's time and well being has been wrapped up in this case for the past few weeks. Months.

It all boils down to this.

One verdict.

It's after eight when she gets the call. They're ready. The court is empty. The halls being cleaned, the building devoid of its usual noise. It's odd.

Eerie.

Turns Chaeyoung's stomach.

She walks into the courtroom with a false bravado she doesn't feel, trying to be steady for her client. It's a shadow of what she usually feels, of that self assuredness that floods through her sometimes.

Her client looks like she's going to puke and Chaeyoung feels like she might join her. Nyko offers a lame, tired greeting. She can see the worry in his eyes too. Neither one of them has a read on how this is all gonna shake out. The jury had deliberated for days. Had asked a few times to have key testimony read back to them. It's a coin toss, Nyko knows it. She knows it. The judge looks tired and solemn.

It's been a long, interesting breakdown.

When the jury walks in with heavy faces, ice grips Chaeyoung's veins. She knows. Her client takes a deep breath beside her and Chaeyoung tries to steel herself for the bad news. Except that no matter how hard you try.

How much you practice, brace for it, it still feels like a punch to the gut. And it is.T

he word guilty lands with a resounding thud in the nearly empty room. Chaeyoung stops breathing. Notices all the jurors avoid her gaze. Her client crumples down into tears next to her and it all feels too heavy.

She wasn't good enough. Didn't do enough.

The evidence wasn't there but they still handed down a conviction. She offers what little words she can, not hearing them come out of her mouth. Her tongue moving of its own accord and pushing words from her lips.

And when her client is led away in handcuffs, Chaeyoung feels everything inside of her start to slip away.

A few of the jurors find her outside the courtroom. Tell her what more they needed, wanted, for an acquittal. Sing her praise, which seems hollow and empty at this point.

She nods along and tries not to glare. Not to scream and shout.

Until she has to walk away, to a deserted corridor and a deserted bathroom. Locking herself inside and finally breaking. The tears fall fast and heavy down her face, and she doesn't try to stop them.

Heaves with them.

Sobs.

Guttural noises mixing with the heavy breaths she tries to take.