Dazai has been staring at the wall of his shipping container for over half an hour. And he's not felt a single thing. Not even boredom.
Faintly in the distance he can hear a sound, but he doesn't know what. He feels a hand on his...what?
It could be anywhere. He feels like he's watching a movie, all he can do is see and hear things. But that's really it. He has no sense of what's actually happening or if it's just in his head. He doesn't know what's real. He doesn't feel like anything is happening to him. He feels like he's watching someone else's life. That one day the movie will end, and it will all cut to black.
He can hear muffled sounds of his name being called. He looks up to see Chuuya looking up at him with a weird expression. Chuuya gets up and gets a water bottle from the fridge and walks back to Dazai. He can feel his footsteps walking towards him. As he got closer and closer Dazai's breathing got faster. When Chuuya's footsteps stopped so did Dazai's breathing. Completely. He held his breath as he waited for what Chuuya was going to do next.
He felt this freezing feeling on his face and water falling onto...he still can't really tell where.
"You alright?"
What a simple question to ask. Especially since, obviously, no, he was not okay. Even so, maybe the slug was just that stupid. He gave him a dry smile.
"When did Chuu-ya come in?"
"Just now," he frowned. "You can lie better than that."
Dazai tilts his head. "What do you mean?"
Chuuya just shakes his head as he keeps looking around for something.
"Whatcha looking for?"
"Bandages. Where do you keep them?"
Dazai froze. "Why?"
"So, I can put in new bandages for you."
"Oh..." Dazai looks down. He realizes his arms were all bloody. How did that happen? He doesn't know.
He shakes his head, "It's fine, I can do it myself."
"Are you sure?" Chuuya asks, handing him a new roll of bandages.
"Yeah." Dazai moves his arm up to take the bandages but gets this sudden searing pain in his arm that makes him flinch away. Had his arm been feeling like this the entire time? He doesn't know. How could he not remember something he was just feeling? He doesn't know.
"Maybe I should REALLY be the one putting on the new bandages."
"Nope! I'm fine! See?" He waves his arms around as much as he could without screaming from the intense pain. But it obviously showed on his face because Chuuya just unrolls a bit of the new bandages.
"How did it get this bloody?"
He doesn't know. It just repeats in his mind.
"Dazai, what happened?"
I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know
I DON'T KNOW.
"Hey, hey, you're okay, you're okay." He feels a pair of arms wrapped around his head, obviously trying to avoid wherever he was hurt. Dazai hadn't realized his breathing had sped up again.
Now he can feel everything. His headache, his arms more than anything, and even in his thighs he can feel some blinding pain.
"If you really don't want me to put the new bandages, I won't."
Dazai's first instinct is to say no. The only person that has seen under his bandages is Mori for his "exams". Would Chuuya be mad at him when he finds out? Does he already know? The bloody bandages had to have tipped him off. Was he mad right now? Was this his way of getting Dazai in a vulnerable position so he can-no. What was he thinking. Chuuya wouldn't. And Dazai certainly couldn't do it by himself.
He nodded, "You can do it."
"Do you want me to take those off yourself or do you want me to do it?"
"You can do it."
Chuuya nods. He begins peeling off the bandages. Under them are scars. A lot of scars. Some look like that were carefully made, other looked jagged, some like they were mere scratches that'd heal over time, and some looked like they'd been there for years.
Chuuya didn't say anything. He didn't get mad. He just gave Dazai these sad, pitiful looks. He hated it. But he wasn't telling Dazai that just because there were new ones he wasn't allowed to wear the bandages or adding more as punishment like Mori. Because he wasn't Mori. He was Chuuya. And Chuuya wouldn't do that.
He had to just keep repeating that to himself.
Chuuya was surprisingly gentle, cleaning the wound with what he found in the shipping container. But Mori was also gentle. Until he wasn't. But he wasn't Mori. He was Chuuya. And Chuuya wouldn't do that.
With every move Chuuya made he had to remind himself that Mori wasn't here. It was Chuuya. Chuuya was there to help him.
Until he had finished with both of his arms. They looked good as new, except for the blood on his clothes.
"Are you hurt anywhere else?"
Dazai nodded and pointed to his thighs.
"...oh. Do you...want to do that yourself?"
Dazai nodded again.
"Can we go to your apartment?"
Dazai has a bunch of his own clothes and stuff there so they wouldn't have to bring anything if they did.
"Yeah, we can."
