Why can't I hear anything when I'm near her except for the erratic pounding of her heart?
Even now, I was still trying to find an answer for myself. Her face haunted me every time I closed my eyes, forcing me to stare at the ceiling often. It'd been like this for three days, and I expected tomorrow to be the fourth day of this endless cycle.
Renu...
What is so special about her that makes me so obsessed?
"Mom."
The following morning, after only three hours of sleep, I couldn't hold back any longer. After getting dressed to stay home, I immediately asked my mother.
"What?"
"When is that woman moving in? It's the end of the month, isn't it? Today is the scheduled moving day."
"Which woman? There are thousands of people in the apartment."
"Is this an apartment or slum with the many people?"
"Can't I use mataphor? You're so annoying."
Mom's voice trailed off as she raised an eyebrow.
"Which one?"
"The pretty one."
"In this building, only I am pretty."
"You really believe you're the most beautiful woman, even in your head."
I pouted a bit while Mom bared her teeth, knowing exactly who I meant.
"If you mean Renu, she'll come eventually. She's already paid the deposit. Maybe she's just busy or something. Why are you so interested?"
"Can't I just be curious?"
"Normally, you're not nosy about other people's business, so I'm surprised. By the way, when does school start?"
"5th."
"Time flies, doesn't it?"
Mom suddenly looked me up and down.
"You're almost in college. When will you have a boyfriend?"
"Other parents don't ask their daughters this early."
"I'm asking because I'm perplexed. You're cute like me, so why doesn't anyone want you? Maybe your personality is bad, just like your dad."
"If you could hear what others think like me, you wouldn't want anyone either, believe me."
To me, all humans were untrustworthy. They said one thing but thought another. I saw every thought and action as they were standing naked before me, which made me feel disgusted.
Don't get me started. I was so cynical now that I found peace in being alone, listening to music without hearing or seeing anything. But I did have a friend, even if it was just one. A friend who no one else wanted to be friends with because...
"You look old today."
'Ongart' a chubby guy with a feminine side, whom renamed 'On-an. She was a blunt person who said whatever she thought, often almost getting beaten up or slapped by other girls, but she was too big or something like that. But I know she was sincere, as I'd heard her thoughts before she spoke. Or perhaps she just had no filter...
"Didn't sleep much."
"Why? Were you homy??"
"Seriously, I think sometimes you should learn not to speak all your thoughts or maybe choose more appropriate words."
"What did I say wrong? I asked if you were horny. How is that inappropriate?"
I rolled my eyes but found her endearing, so I didn't get too mad. I let it go and changed the subject.
