Hi. My name is Mieko, and this is my story.
I am an ordinary muslim girl who's in love with my cousin. Yes, our religion does not accept us being together.
I noticed this feeling just a few months ago after our family holiday to Cameron Highlands.
And he is my favourite cousin of all times. Actually, I was not the one who noticed this feeling at first, it was my friend named Anjana.
She noticed because of how I always tell all my friends about him and how much I loved him as a cousin but I guess they noticed it before I do.
On the date of 16 september 2024, I went out and watched the movies with him and his family. I sat beside him because I don't feel confident to sit beside his family.
I knew my love for him grew stronger by feeling my heart beats quicker and by the feeling of butterflies in my stomach.
after the movies finished, his parents offered me to sleep at their house. I wanted to decline but I figured that it would be rude so I just accepted it.
September 17 2024, It has been a day that I have spent the night at their house.. I had to sleep in his room because there was no room left for me.
We played some games togethr such as Roblox, Fortnite and Eyes. He invites his friend over and started ignoring me to play with his friend.
I felt so jealous but I knew that I shouldn't because our love is forbidden.
I distracted myself from feeling jealous and lonely but it was hard. I sat on his chair and it reminded me of our fun time together.
I spinned in his chair while holding his plushie, thinking "Is this really what I'm suppose to do?.."
Suddenly he called me from his room
"Mieko, let's play roblox together with my friend!"
His invitation grew a spark in my eyes and I went to his room, playing Dusty Trip in Roblox.
After the game, we all ate in the dining table. After that, he got a really bad stomachache because he ate too many chili's.
At night when his friend already left, I felt relieved that I no longer need to be jealous. I entered his room to invite him play Roblox with me but he told me to leave.
I left his room and sat in the living room on the couch. I watched some Pok Ro's livestream to distract the mixed feelings that I had been feeling for months.
Sptember 18 2024 which is the date that I am writing today.
I decided to confess my feelings to him even though I know that he won't accept it because of our religion.
I embraced myself for what was gonna hit me, and enters his room.
Again, he told me to leave but I told him that I had something important to tell him.
He sat infront of me and stared right into my eyes and says
"Go ahead and say it."
I was already shaking at that moment but I took a deep breath and finally confessed
"I don't know how to say this but.. i have fallen for you.."
My heart was thumping quicker than it has ever been. I could see his shocked expression etched on his face.
He finally answers my confession. Everything went blank when I heard his answer.
He told me that.. he liked me back..
"I have too.. I just hid it because I knew our religion denies it." His reply made everything go blank
It is just like that one Poet that goes like
I do not like the sun.
It shines too brightly for my eyes.
I do not like crowded rooms,
It suffocates me like when I am without you.
Oddly enough I would go out on a hot day just to see you.
I would stay in the middle of a crowd just for a glimpse of you.
I do not mind it, in fact I quite like it.
I do not understand it but I feel it.
I feel a sort of rush when I see you.
I feel this needs to be honet and true.
But sadly my muse,
The world and reality will never approve of me and you.
The End..
