Breaking The Rules

Chapter 14

The music had barely faded before Professor Calloway clapped her hands together, her voice echoing through the dance studio.

"Great work today, everyone," she said, her tone upbeat as always. "Don't forget to start thinking about the year-end recital. Auditions for solo spots will be coming up soon. It's a great opportunity for exposure and to gain experience outside the university. I expect to see all of you involved in one way or another."

My chest was still heaving as I wiped the sweat from my forehead with the worn towel I had stashed away in my dance bag. I had completely forgotten about the year-end recital. Last year, as a freshman, I wasn't allowed to participate, but I always told myself that I would join the moment I was able to. Now I wasn't so sure.

The recital.

A familiar sense of dread washed over me. I'd always loved performing. Ever since I was a little girl when I would put on dance recitals in my living room at every family function. And while dance was still part of every fiber of my being, I had lost a lot of myself when I started dating Miles.

The focus of becoming a dance producer had been long removed. How could it be when I was too busy helping him with his podcast, rehearsing lines, and everything in between?

The class began to disperse, everyone packing up their things, chatting and laughing amongst themselves. I noticed how easily they fell into conversations—old friends, familiar faces. It was like they were all still connected, while I felt like an outsider, standing on the fringes. I hadn't realized just how much I'd lost until now, until I saw the easy way they moved in and out of their circles.

I had been part of those circles once. Until I got swept up by a boy that was too good at acting like he loved me.

As I slipped off my dance shoes and grabbed my water bottle, I took note of two of the friends I had lost across the studio. Elodie tugged a pair of sweatpants over her leotard, blonde hair pulled into a slicked back bun as she chatted with Juliette. They used to be my closest friends.

We were practically inseparable a few months ago. Grabbing coffee before our A.M. lectures. Studying in the library. Crashing sorority parties.

Then I drifted.

Whether Miles had planted the seed or divide or not, I had to be held somewhat responsible for allowing my closest friendships to end. I wasn't part of their world anymore. And seeing them now, chatting and laughing like they once did with me, made the wound split back open.

It was as if we were strangers.

But as I stood there, observing them, I realized I didn't want that anymore. Shifting my bag over my shoulder, I made my way across the room. I swallowed down the bundle of nerves that got caught in my chest. I had no idea if they would give me the time of day. I don't know if I would if I were in their shoes.

I wouldn't be surprised if they hated me, or thought I was a shitty friend who would jump ship again as soon as another guy came along.

I bit the inside of my cheek as I approached them. What would I even say to them? Do I act as if no time has passed, or should I grovel for forgiveness right off the hop?

It wasn't too late to turn around. To leave before either of them noticed me. Instead, I continued to put one foot in front of the other––closing the distance that I had allowed to come between us.

When they noticed me approaching, their conversation faltered. That in itself was almost enough to have me running for the hills. Juliette's brown eyes darted to Elodie's bewildered expression. A silent question about what to do.