Disconnect

Chapter 8

     The air that you once felt rush past you suddenly felt still. You stay curled in a protective ball and await the impact of the floor that never comes. The adrenaline coursing through you had turned your cold blood hot, and your eyes refused to open. Seconds of nothingness went by before you felt the impact of the floor against your back, only it was a gentle contact. It felt like you just slowly layed down. You release your arms and sprawl out on the floor, feeling your arms collide with scattered furniture. You finally open your eyes and see a ceiling awaiting you. You empty the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding in.
     You stare dumbfounded for a long while before speaking, “T-thanks God.”
     “Giggle,” Cyn says while looking down at you, “Are you hurt?”
     “No. I don’t think so anyway. I’ll let you know when my heart stops beating in my ears,” you glance at her and see the bulb you had procured in her hand, “Oh you got the lightbulb. Haha… where would I be without you?” You let yourself devolve into a chuckle fit as you fight the urge to empty your stomach. As good as dinner was, you didn’t care to get better acquainted.
     A sad voice responds, “With Tessa.”
     You look at Cyn again and see her dawn a guilty look. You sit up and turn your body to better face her, “What’s with that all of a sudden? I’m not mad or anything.”
     Cyn looks up to the missing lightbulb on the chandelier, back down to the furniture strewn around the floor, to you, then the floor, “Fragile.”
     You stand up, now distracted from your adrenaline induced nausea. “Hey, I’m alright see?,” you gesture to yourself, “I’m fine. A little queasy, but fine. Somehow.”
     Cyn looks you over and for a moment you see her smile before a frown makes its home on her face, “Would you not prefer to be with Tessa?”
     You blink a few times in attempts to both come up with an answer, and figure out why she would be asking that. After only finding the former, you explain, “I’m sure it would’ve been fun too, but I don’t mind being on your team. We’re friends too aren’t we?”
     Cyn stares at you for a few seconds before approaching you. You don’t think much of this at first. Tessa had given you a hug earlier, so you assume that’s what’s about to happen here. You lean down slightly to make things easier for her. You weren’t that much taller than drones typically, but Cyn had quite the slouch. You were proven wrong in your assumption when Cyn got close to you.
     “Conspiratorial lean,” she tries to get her head as close to your ear as she can as she whispers, “Are you damaged too?”
     You’re at a loss for words. If those words had come from anyone else but Cyn, or maybe a therapist, you’d taken them as an insult. Before you give any clear answer, you lean away from Cyn and look at her. She’s eyeing you curiously. It seems she wants a genuine answer. You try to question her, “What do you mean?”
     “Were you thrown out?,” Cyn answers.
     Your eyes widen slightly and you're about to retort when you think more on the question. Your parents never really spent any meaningful time with you. They always left you in the care of the staff. You pat your pocket and hear the crinkle of paper, the drawing they had left for you while you slept. Your parents hadn’t been the ones to make you feel like you belonged somewhere. In a way, you were thrown aside. You look at Cyn, feeling your heart drop as you say something you’ve never admitted out loud, “Yeah, I guess I was. A long time ago.”
     For some reason you cannot fathom, Cyn seems pleased by this, a smile making its way on her features, “Were you taken in and repaired?”
     Your hand tenses on the paper in your pocket. You answer much quicker this time, “Yeah. Yeah, I was. I just didn’t realize how much I needed them until recently.”
     “Are you the same as you were before? Are you changed now?,” Cyn asks, seemingly more excited than before at your answers.
     You speak without thinking now, just letting the truth out, “Honestly? I don’t think I can remember what I was like before. Hehe.” You let out a weak, tired chuckle.
     “Reeeeach,” you feel Cyn take your hands in hers, “Then you’re damaged, like me. Warm smile.”
     You look at Cyn for a long moment, studying her face for any signs of deceit or deception. You find none. Then something strange happens, something only recently not foreign to you. You look at your hands being held by hers, and you begin to feel a welling anxiety. You feel your face flush red, your heart quicken, and your thoughts blank. You quickly try to take your hands back from her, and succeed after a few attempts. You throw your hands into your pockets, and whip your head around desperately to find something to distract yourself. Cyn slowly looks around the room, a little confused as to why you reacted like that.
     You finally find your out, “We should fix the chairs before someone sees.”
     Cyn nods and begins to put the chairs in their proper place. While doing so, she hopes she didn’t make things awkward. Being damaged is something she’s kept very private to herself. The surface level tells such as her posture and voice are things that she can’t hide, but the internal ramifications of it are things she keeps to herself. If her feelings on the matter were anything to go off of, you would also keep things private. Still, she wanted to connect with more people that understood the struggles of being damaged, like she believed Tessa did. Cyn did misunderstand your rapid head movements as you making sure no one was around to hear your heart to hear- core. She worries that she misjudged how willing you were to connect with her, but there’s nothing she can do about it now but hope.
     You likewise begin to put furniture back in its proper place, hoping no one notices the minor damage to some of the chairs until after you’re gone. Near the end of the endeavor, you look to the far wall of the room, opposite the bar. You spot a candlestick with a few unlit candles atop it. You walk towards it and snag your prize, “Hey, Cyn. Got another one. A bit safer this time.” You let out a laugh, trying to make light of your near death experience.
     “Two to go,” Cyn pulls out the list and marks a few items off the list with a pen you didn’t see her with a moment ago.
     You walk towards her, “Just flowers and a lion statue left right?”
     Cyn glances at the list, then back at you, “Yep.”
     “To the flowers then. I think I still remember where the dining room was,” you say as you begin your stride to where you think the dining room is, “Let’s go team.”
     Cyn follows, but slowly due to her ‘quirks.’ You did, in fact, not remember where you needed to go. In fact you were quickly so lost, you had no idea where you were. Cyn was of little assistance due to the fact she didn’t know her way around the manor all that well either. Evidently, she was more new to this place than you had thought. The both of you were effectively wandering the halls of the Elliott manor in hopes one of you would find a landmark that someone would recognize. This aimless wandering was only prolonged by Cyn’s impede pace. To pass the time, you talk about your interests like horror stories and the like. Cyn doesn’t get out much it seems and only watches movies with others, mostly N. He didn’t seem to be the kind of guy to like horror movies, so that’s probably the reason Cyn hasn’t seen any. You make a point to bring up scary stuff to Tessa next time you’re all together and have nothing planned. She likes that weird, witchy stuff, so she might get a kick out of it. You hope anyway. It’d be nice to have someone to talk about that stuff with. Those are thoughts for another time though, because now was the time to figure out where the hell you were. You aren’t very good at that though. Eventually you walk through a hall and spot a large set of double doors at the end of a branching hall.
     You stop and look at the doors, “What’s in there?”
     When Cyn looks at you, you point at the doors. She looks like she's thinking hard for a moment before giving an answer, “That’s the ballroom. It’s only ever in use when there’s a big celebration.”
     “Can we check it out?,” you ask with curiosity plastered on your face.
     Cyn looks down the long hallway the two of you were walking down, and upon not seeing any familiar areas she starts towards the doors, “Sigh. May as well.”
     You wait for her to pass you before you start towards the door. Once there, both of you open the opposite door. You take the right, and she the left. It was a plain room for the most part. You’re sure it’d be more decorated once they start preparing for a celebration. You walk in and gawk at the large open area. You see that there are tables in the room, but they’ve been pushed to the sides of the room and are covered in a sheet. You’ve seen sheets like that before. Typically they’re used to keep dust from getting on furniture while the tenets of a home are away. You look up as you walk in, seeing a balkany area overhead that wrapped around the room. Following them with your eyes, you see that just by the doors are staircases to get up there. You have no reason to go up there. You don’t want to add a whole new floor to the equation when you’re already lost.
     “This place is huge,” you say in awe.
     “Yes, quite big. Like the empty belly of a starving beast,” Cyn adds.
     “Morbid,” you say over your shoulder.
     Cyn shuffles uncomfortably.
     “No, I didn’t mean that in a bad way. I just wasn’t expecting that from you. I like morbid things,” you put your hands up in a placating fashion.
     “Giggle, glad to hear it,” Cyn smiles at you, her features tranquil and at ease with you. You get the feeling that she’s beginning to trust you enough to be her real self with you.
     You feel your face redden again. Why? Nothing embarrassing had even happened! Maybe you’re just coming down with something. Even though you did nap today, you’re still not designed to stay up all night. That had to be it. That’s much better than the alternative.
     You try to distract yourself, “This is a ballroom right? Have you ever danced before?”
     “I’ve seen people dance from the walls,” Cyn responds.
     You have to think about what she said for a moment before it clicks in your head what she means. The staff here probably cater to guests when they throw parties. She’s probably been against the wall watching things go down while serving drinks or something. You let out a short laugh at her wording, “But you’ve never done it? Want to give it a try?”
     “Nervous nod,” she nods in affirmation and makes her way closer to the middle of the room.