25 || Healing through grief

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Yahi doobe din mere,
Yahi hote hai savere,
Yahi marna aur jeena,
Yahi mandir aur madeena...

Teri galiyan, galiyan teri galiyan,
Mujhko bhaave, galiyan teri galiyan.

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ABHISAR

It has been a month since Maa left us.

I still remember the moment when Nupur told me, my world shattering in a quiet, merciless instant.

She wasn’t my birth mother, no, but she was the one who raised me, the one who cared for me after my real mother passed away. Although we never talked, but still. We were talking since last few days before her birth. I wish I could have more of those moments.

I never felt that she was any less of a mother. She was the only mother I knew. And when she left this world, I felt like a part of me left with her.

Grief is a strange thing.

It doesn’t hit you all at once. It trickles in, like water slipping through cracks in the wall, slowly filling your heart with sorrow until it overwhelms you.

That first week, I didn’t know how to carry the weight of it. Every morning, I woke up with the dull ache in my chest, reminding me that she was gone.

Yet, I wasn’t grieving for myself as much as I was for Abhigyan Bhaiya.

Bhaiya—he’s always been stronger than me. But when Maa passed, it was as if someone had pulled the ground from beneath his feet.

The man who was my anchor suddenly became lost, and I didn’t know how to help him. I could see it in his eyes, the deep pain, the kind that leaves scars on a man’s soul.

I watched him break, and in those moments, I pushed my own grief aside. Because I knew if I didn’t, we both would drown in it.

But slowly, we healed.

Both of us.

Bit by bit, day by day.

The ache didn’t go away completely, but it softened, became easier to bear. And as much as I like to think we healed on our own, I know that’s not the truth.

Behind our healing were our wives—Nupur and Priya Bhabhi—standing like pillars of strength, holding us together when we could barely hold ourselves.

Nupur, she was my silent support.

She didn’t force me to talk, didn’t push me to grieve in any particular way. She just…stood by me. In the quiet moments, when the grief became too much, she was there. Sometimes, it was something as simple as the way she’d place her hand on my shoulder, not saying a word but letting me know that she was there, that I wasn’t alone.

I remember one night, a few weeks after Maa passed.

I couldn’t sleep, so I got up and went outside to sit by the courtyard. The village was silent, the only sound being the distant chirping of crickets. I sat there, staring at the stars, lost in my thoughts.

After a while, I heard the soft sound of footsteps behind me. Nupur came and sat down beside me, not asking any questions, not saying anything.

She just sat there, her presence was a quiet reminder that even in my grief, I wasn’t alone.

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