SVU Oneshots

Bensler

SPOILER ALERT ⚠️ S11E13

/Olivia's POV/

I huffed as I looked at the clock, then burried my head into my pillow.

3:57am

I just can't sleep... I can't believe I give off gay vibes. It's not that I don't like LGBTQ members, Huang is a part of the community as well. I don't have any problems with it, it's just that... I am also a member. Or at least I think? I don't know honestly.

I've never looked at a woman like that in my life, I don't remember thinking anything sexual or romantic about a female AND I've always dated guys before! But like El said: "It would explain why you have no luck with guys". I'm sure I'm not lesbian tho, I do love men, especially Elliot, but he's too blind to notice my signs. But what Babs did today while I was doing my shift in her house, protecting her... I told her I'm straight but I'm actually not so positive about that anymore.

4:24am

UGH! I'm not gonna any sleep tonight so I might as well just start the day.

I threw the pillow away, getting up, not even bothering to make my bed and then dressed up. I grabbed my coat and my car keys, then walked outside and went to the coffee shop I always go, it's luckily 24/7.

-The usual – I smiled at the bartender who knew me, then I payed and tipped a bit more than I usually do. Is it because she's a girl? Or is it because I only had a $10 bill instead of the usual $5? Who knows..

I sat back into my car and drank the black liquor and went to the station, starting to work. Not surprised at me being the first one here, even Cap shows up around half 6 and he's always the first to get here.

6:56am

-Couldn't sleep? – El said behind me, making me jump out of fear.

-Don't even say a word – I sighed, taking the coffee he brought me. – Thanks.

-When did you arrive? – he took his coat off, revealing his usual outfit; a shirt with a tie, but this time he left a few buttons out, maybe  it was an accident, maybe he was in a hurry, or he had some fun with someone... No, I don't think he'd do that so early. Would he? – Liv? – he asked, so I looked into his eyes instead of his hairy chest, staring at him with an empty look.

-Sorry, what? – I mumbled, taking a sip of the second coffee. I didn't understand a word he said.

-Is something wrong? – he sat down, looking straight into my soul so I sighed, fidgeting with a pen, hesitating to tell him.

-Remember when I asked whether I give out gay vibes or not? – I kept playing with the pen, locking my eyes at it, even tho I could see and feel his state burning my face. – It was because Babs tried to kiss me, saying she thought I'm 'her kind' – I finally looked up.

-And? – he asked after I didn't continue so I took a deep breath.

-I think she was right... – I mumbled. – I-I kinda wished I didn't push her away, I want to know how would I react to a woman's kiss, but without real feelings, just so I could get answers – I finished, watching his reaction which was... interesting. He looked SHOCKED, like he just saw a ghost.

-Are you a lesbian, Liv? – he whispered, leaning forward so I could hear it. – Why didn't you tell me before?!

-Because I'm not! I might be bisex or just confused, but I'm sure I'm not a lesbian, cause I have... – I stopped immediately, cause he'd want to know who is it and if I don't tell him, he'd be offended.