A Hunter's Heart

Chapter 3

Sam and Dean were quiet as they drove over the Missouri-Illinois border. They weren't sure what to say to each other after their fight after the spector case. They both had a lot of things to work through, both individually and as brothers.

Sam thought back on what Dean had said, and he knew deep down Dean had every right to be angry with him, but he also knew he was allowed to be angry about Benny. 

Things just kept going to shit after she died.

Sam glanced over at his brother, noting the way his jaw was clenched and his eyes were focused on the road.

“Hey, Dean,” Sam asked.

“What,” Dean said curtly, not taking his eyes off the road.

“We haven't seen her in a while.”

“Seen who,” Dean muttered, confused.

“Sang.”

Sam lurched forward as Dean slammed on the breaks, glad that they had been on an empty stretch of road so they wouldn't have been hit.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean hissed eyes wide.

They had visited her grave at Ada's house a few times during the first few months, but when they had gotten busy with the Leviathans, that had stopped visiting.

The men still blamed themselves heavily for her passing.

“You haven't visited her? At all,” Dean asked.

Sam shook his head, eyes drooped in sadness,” No,I-”

Sam took a deep breath. 

He had to try and fix things with his brother. Garth was right, they were all each other had, and even though he was mad at his brother, he couldn't let those bitter feelings stew. Not if they were going to keep hunting and putting themselves in deadly situations with only each other as backup.

“After Bobby died and you went to purgatory, it just… hurt too much. I didn't think I would be able to get you out, so I just… tried to move on and… I stopped going. Last time I talked to Ada was when I told her you had gone missing and that I wasn't going to hunt anymore,” Sam admitted.

Dean glanced over to his brother with a sigh. His anger had left a long time ago. He was mostly hurt now, knowing his brother never came for him. So many times Sam acted as if he hated Dean and resented him for pulling him back into the hunt, but deep down Dean knew that wasn't the case.

This job was hard. It made you angry and doubtful, and they needed to be strong for each other, like Garth had said.

A chuckle fell from Dean's lips.

That guy really was like Bobby.

“What,” Sam asked, giving his brother a look.

“Nothin’,” Dean grinned a moment before he became serious again.

The Impala pulled forward as Dean took his foot off the break, his hard eyes back on the road.

“I'm sorry,” Dean finally said, surprising his brother.

Sam glanced at him.

“For what?”

“I was so caught up in being angry and hurt that you didn't come for me in Purgatory, that I forgot how much you must have been hurting,” Dean sighed.

Sam stared at his brother a moment, gobsmacked. Dean was rarely ever one to apologize for something like this.

Sam cleared his throat,” I'm sorry too, for all the times I lied to you. I was just too afraid of losing you, I guess, but in the end I made it worse.”