hazel's pov ౨ৎ
it had been a few days since we moved back to our house. mama said it was time for me to go back to school, but i didn't want to. everything still felt wrong. mama packed my lunch and helped me with my backpack, kissing my forehead before we left.
"you'll be okay, hazel," she said, but i wasn't sure. my stomach felt all funny, like there were a bunch of butterflies flying around in there. i didn't say anything though. i didn't want to make mama worry more.
at school, everything was loud. kids were laughing, doors were slamming, and my teacher, mr. lewis, was already standing at the front of the class. when i saw him, something inside me felt weird. my heart started beating fast, and my hands got all sweaty. i didn't know why, but it scared me. it felt like my chest was too tight, and my heart hurt. i couldn't breathe right.
i sat down at my desk, but it didn't feel any better. everything kept getting worse, like my whole body was shaking, and i didn't understand why. my head was spinning, and i didn't know what was happening to me. i just wanted it to stop. i wanted mama.
"hazel?" mr. lewis said, walking over to me. his voice sounded far away, even though he was right there. "are you okay?"
i didn't know how to answer him. it didn't feel like my voice was working. everything felt too fast, like the room was spinning, and my heart was beating too hard in my chest. it hurt, and i didn't know why. i couldn't make it stop. my hands were shaking, and my eyes were full of tears.
"hazel?" he asked again, kneeling down next to me. "what's wrong? can i help?"
i shook my head, the tears spilling over. "please... don't... don't touch me," i whispered, my voice shaking just like my hands. i didn't want him near me. i didn't want anyone near me.
he looked surprised, like he didn't know what to do. "it's okay, hazel. i'm not going to touch you. i just want to make sure you're okay."
but i wasn't okay. nothing felt okay. my heart was racing, and i felt trapped. it felt like i couldn't breathe, and my legs were shaking so much i could hardly stand up. i needed to get away.
i ran out of the room, down the hall, past all the kids and teachers. my feet just kept going, even though i didn't know where i was going. i needed to get away. far away.
then i saw her. mrs. robinson. she had been my teacher last year, and she always made me feel safe. when she saw me, her eyes got wide, and she opened her arms. i ran into them, crying so hard i could barely breathe.
"it's okay, hazel," she whispered, hugging me tight. "you're safe now. you're okay."
but i didn't feel okay. everything inside me still hurt, and my chest felt heavy. i wanted mama. i wanted to go home.
they called the office, and someone said they were calling my mama. i sat with mrs. robinson in the office, still shaking, my hands holding onto the chair. mama was at work, but they said she would come.
when mama got there, she rushed into the room and knelt in front of me. i couldn't stop crying. i didn't know why. she pulled me into her arms, holding me close.
"hazel, baby, what happened?" mama's voice was soft, but i could tell she was scared, too.
i shook my head. "i... i don't know..." my voice cracked, and i started crying even harder. "i didn't mean to... i just..."
"shh, it's okay," mama whispered, hugging me tighter. "you don't have to explain. it's okay."
i buried my face in her shoulder, not wanting to let go. i didn't understand what happened to me. all i knew was that when mama was there, it felt a little safer. i didn't want to be anywhere else but with her.
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