The Third Life Is My Relaxing Time?

I'm a...

Chance. Another chance is a luxury that many people -who are in jail, joblessness, disowned or maybe execution table- would crave to have.

Those individuals made those around them suffer and regretted their actions that led to such, making them blame others or wallow in despair or at the midst of depravity of their situation. Would they be allowed to be given another chance? This is a debatable topic as this can implicate multiple peoples sense of mortality, the record of multiple instances in history, etc. just to have many say no and little agreement to give a chance.

For example, we have a serial killer who kills other murderers and criminals. Their motive being that they lost their family and friends to them vowing to hunt down as many before he gets caught? Would you give them a chance? I don't need to know but do challenge your brain with such cases if you ever aspire to be of service to the law.

Back to the topic of another chance, not everyone gets that privilege. However when one does, cherish it, never waste that precious thing.

"Because I didn't waste mine" 'But did I really.' I said to myself as I huddled close to a warm fireplace while throwing a few barks of wood every so often. I stared at the luminous lit flames, losing the concept of time while collecting my scattered thoughts.

I muttered in the enclosed space.

"What do I do now?" A day before, I was gathering materials to initiate my plan in the next 2 months but... "How could I do something like that when I'm afraid to be in front of anyone!?"

I drawled out, my voice must be shaky as my breathing and eyes. I couldn't, those memories were too much, the eyes of my citizens haunting me now.

I let out my feelings and tears on the wooden floor boards.

10 years ago, I obtained knowledge of my past. I was a beautiful woman with good looks, good grades, good social skills, and was living a lavish lifestyle.

But after my brother -the opposite of me in my previous mention of traits- died everything spiraled down. I lost him -only leaving a usb drive- and was disowned by my parents a few years later after giving birth to my daughter. Before I knew it, I died because of my shitty boyfriend.

When I remembered it, I began jotting down all my brother's records of the otome game as soon as I realise I was in one.

It made me jealous of the female protagonist that I planned to take her position. I spent ten years on doing it and only 2 months left before the time line starts. My plan was perfect. Enact all the actions that the heroine did upon meeting the capture targets, gain their wealth and live a care free life. That was the plan. Or was. Three days ago, I tripped over and hit my head, causing me to hear something break, just like how... I remembered my previous life.

Another one. I recall being an actor, the humanity of a god, tasked to play the role of deity in a neverending play, to save everyone from a prophecy. Only to fail finding a clue to prevent it, failed winning the trial to prove my godhood, failed to save the nation, and failed myself.

It hurts -Oh archons- I couldn't think straight with the fact that I have another life -or five or six life times- worth of memories lodged onto my mind, and it was filled with so much pain and... exhaustion. I was in denial of those memories but I soon accepted it at the end of the 2nd day.

The actor -Furina de Fontaine- my past life was tired making me feel her exhaustion as well. My crying slowly died as the flame in the fireplace was snuffed out. It felt cold and , that must've been what death felt like. Cold. Was this what my brother felt before he died? Cold?

My thoughts kept me up my toes that night. Pondering about my 1st previous life's actions. I felt disgusted and angry. Why did I do such horrendous things!? Treating my brother like some slave driver that he died is just inhuman! Why did I have to make him play the game!? I deserved everything that came to me afterwards and now I was close to ruining someone else's life. How selfish can I be!? And my daughter, we don't deserve ever having a child that loves us after what we've done! I scolded and bashed my previous self mentally -too much work to shout- until I had nothing left to say. It lasted for an hour before I felt exhausted.

What now?...

I have the memories of two people with slight similar traits but overall unique individual's in there own right negatively and positively unique.

What now?...

I guess I could just enjoy lying down here on this floor... It feels comfy forever.

What now?

No, I knew I couldn't waste my time here. My plan won't ever happen but I still need to go to the academy... I still have a reason to go. I have to get out of my current status. That's right. Upon attaining intellect -from past life no. 1- at a young age, I understood that I was neglected by my family in this world giving me little to nothing to call my own. Making me do all the task to maintain my survival. Hunting for food, creating this cabin, sewing my own clothes, cooking, I did it myself for the whole 10 years and endured because of my goals were close to being attained.

"I was really working for it huh?" I laughed bitterly to the memories.

"...." The very world I live in now is likely to be the otome game I asked my brother to play, the very thing that led to his death, my -deserved- suffering, and later on death. It's honestly clear that I shouldn't change the narrative that'll transpire so that's what I'll do. I'll scrap my reverse harem route and just live a peaceful life.... It's for the best with how deep the pain of Furina was ingrained in my soul and just live a good life.

"I can do it." I said to myself as the cabin walls cover my sorrows and reflection from the outside world.

"What was it that my brother used to say? A mob. Right a mob...."

"..."

"This time I'll live life as Maria Lou Lafan, the sinful girl of 2 lives." I whispered with conviction. I will survive and be happy.