Between Heaven and Earth

prolougue

I stand and watch as Kirsty pulls her brush through her long brown hair and expertly ties it back in a bobble. I always thought her to be a beautiful young woman no matter what she wore.

I had known her a long time. Before the children were born she had enjoyed choosing clothes to enhance her figure and everything had to be the latest fashion. She is bright and funny with a wisdom far beyond her years. Many said she had been here before. 

Now though, her priorities had changed somewhat. In respect - her responsibilities had grown with balancing family and work. She opted for a homely look of jeans and some sort of loose fitting top, low sensible shoes and busied herself with home and garden - Not un like many women when they set up house and home.

Kirsty moved her head, first one way, then the other, taking in her style with critical eyes.

"Who would really care what I look like?" She mutters to her own reflection, "not like anyone would want me anyway."

"You look amazing as always, sweetheart. Please don't think this way."

I shake my head slowly and stand waiting for her to gather the things she needed.

She didn't respond. She didn't even blink. Kirsty never acknowledges me. Sometimes I doubt she ever would - but I never stop trying, I never gave up. Kirsty is worth all my effort.

Her skin is pale and free from make up. She hasn't been bothered for months now. Not since the divorce. I often thought this view wasn't so much to do with her own image, but one she had adopted over the years, mainly from the constant reinforcement by her ex- husband.

I just want the old Kirsty back, but despite encouragement, she remains the quiet shell-of-the-woman she used to be.

You see, Kirsty was always strong minded and knew how to achieve her goals. She was independent and driven - everything I admired in a woman, all wrapped up in one fantastic package. She was capable of achieving anything she set her mind to.

I really miss that side of her. Yes, she is focused upon her children and they are everything she thinks about from the moment she gets up, to the time she retires at the end of the day. In a lot of ways, they were her whole world now.

Not that it is wrong for her children to be the focus of her life, but - well, I have seen how her mood and drive deteriorated once the children went on their weekend contact with their father.

She will not get out of bed. She doesn't get dressed. She hardly went out of the house and she never talks on the phone - too anyone.

It was fair to say, Kirsty needs more in her life. She needs something to plan for.

Her career has been postponed and forgotten, and given her state of mind, that is definitely out of the question.

She is constantly struggling every day. I want to wave a magic wand and give her back what was missing, but I have no idea what that was or where to even begin - and the sad thing is, I doubt she could either. I've watched silently as she slowly lost all her confidence. 

She has no social circle anymore because all the people she knew, were friends of her ex-husband.

All the others, with children, were slowly weaned from her life because he didn't like them, and so now, she attached herself to people who always seemed to let her down one way or another.

She really had lost all faith in everyone around her - even family connections. She is a loner - disconnected from society and locked in her own world.

And then there is me. I promised never to leave her. And through hell or high water, I will stay by her side. My lovely Kirsty, my heart - and no one will ever change that.