Shadows of Tomorrow

Part Four - Endless Waiting

Dad went outside.
The tension rose really high again.
There are several things making me nervous right now. I'm absolutely terrified for my beloved dad—I want him to be safe, but he's out there alone. I'm also scared for us. Now we're here alone at home, without our leader, without the person who knows what to do.
We should say something, but we can't. My mom, my brother, and I can't manage to utter a single word. We're all scared.
This is something you just can't imagine. It's happening, but you don't understand. How is it possible?
It's kind of like when COVID broke out. I remember watching the news about an illness in China, and we thought it was just another disease, like the flu or Ebola. We told ourselves it wouldn't affect us. Yet, it changed millions of lives and the whole world forever. There was the world before COVID, and the world after. Just like there was the world before 9/11, and the world after.
Several minutes have passed. I don't know how many—five minutes? Seven? I really don't know.
It feels like hours. We're all staring at the door, almost hypnotizing it, hoping that any second now Dad will walk through and tell us everything's going to be okay.
But nothing happens.
I keep looking at the door, tears welling up in my eyes, but I'm trying to stay strong. After all, my brother and mom are here. We'll get through this, and Dad will come back soon. He has to!
Mom sees that I'm about to break down. She takes my hand and says, "Don't worry, it'll just be a little longer."
In this moment, my mom is braver than I am. Her words give me courage. I don't say anything, but we squeeze each other's hands a few times. It's our little signal, something we've done since I was little. It doesn't mean anything specific, but at the same time, it means everything—from 'I love you' to 'Everything's going to be okay.'

I'm thinking about how COVID changed everything. The world was different, but now, life seems fairly normal again. I hope it will be the same this time. Well, I hope these are just a few strange moments and that the world will be okay in the end.
My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the gate slamming shut.
"Dad's home," Mom says.
"Finally," I reply.
But I hesitate for a moment. Even though the sound of the gate was the most beautiful thing I've heard—it means my dad is finally back home—I feel a twinge of fear. What if it's not Dad? What if it's someone who wants to hurt us? So many emotions are flooding me. Happiness, but also fear. And beyond that, I can't stop wondering what he's going to say. Will he tell us everything's going to be okay? Will he say it's the end of the world? I don't know.
I just need Dad to be here already. I need to know. This uncertainty is killing me, destroying me from the inside. It's tearing me apart.

I can't take it anymore. I let go of Mom's hand and head to the hallway from the living room. I see a figure.
The door opens.
It's Dad. Yes! It's my beloved dad! He's back!
I feel an overwhelming sense of relief, the stress falls away.
I want to run and hug him. I take a step forward, but then I notice his expression. Is he frowning? He definitely looks sad. Something's wrong, I think. I knew it. I'm scared.
Dad waves at me. I try to lift my hand to wave back, but I can't. I'm frozen in place.
Dad snaps me out of my trance: "Come on, let's go. I need to tell you something," he says, leading me back to the living room.
This is it, I tell myself.
Mom and my brother greet Dad, but they too are startled by the worried look on his face, just like I was.
"We're going to have to make a big decision," Dad says, and I know that, for now, our world won't be the same as it was before.