My ex-Boyfriend's secret.

Chapter 3: The verdict is.. A broken heart.

Shoutout to candlelight_ for being my first follower! Your the first one to be called one of my mellon. Whoop whoop!

Slamming my locker closed, I spotted a note on the top shelf. Shit! Now I had to reopen my locker, I'd be late for sure! And who got in my locker?

"Hey there, pretty lady." a low voice whispered. I spun around, seeing no one behing me. I looked down the hall to see one of my friends, Chaz. I ran down the hall, books in hand. 

"Hey, Chaz, wait!" I yelled, catching up to him.

"Wassup sugar?" He asked, his country slang sticking out. Chaz was gay, like Keifer, but a different kind of gay. He was pansexual, but had stronger feelings towards men, he was of color (and he made sure to make a show of telling black jokes!) and dressed in drag. He was probably my favorite gay in my school (and yes, there was alot.) 

"You been on my SPLASH blog lately?" If chaz had written that post, I would of knew he was kidding and could brush it off my shoulder.

"Mmm, no sweettart. But has you seen Jennifers? That girl has some craycray drama materilizin' round her. She's got Jacob, that sexy 'lil kid. But she be cheatin' on him with Kyle! Psh, take Jacob, Kyle has got the AIDs hunny, and you ain't foolin' no one with the anynomus shit, you the only one who don't know how to spell here!" Chaz blabbed on about his latest hit of gossip, "But hey, hun, 'nuff 'bout the shit I heard, whattaya need? Was someone talkin' trash on yo splash?" He laughed at his joke, "I'm playin' but no, I wasn't on yo splash. I'll check it out, oker?" 

"Thanks, Chaz.." I said, you never got many words out when talking to this kid, he just rambles on and on, until you know every peice of drama in the school. Like, how Tasha Nicole got pregnate with triples, had an illegal abortion, and attempted suicide. So, she moved and no one saw her again. (Tasha got accepted to Y.O.R.K. highschool, and no one knew why she left.) Chaz ducked in a class, blew me a kiss, and yelled "HAYYY!" to someone across the room. I sighed, and trudged to my class. The bell rang just as my hand landed on the handle. I slipped in unseen.

The whole class, all I could think was, 'there is a letter in your locker' 'some got in your locker' 'they could have taken stuff' 'there is a friken note in your locker!' As soon as the lesson ended, I practiaclly ran to my locker. I swung the door open, and grabbed the note. I threw my books in, and slammed the door. The note was long, like four pages. I hid out under the stairs, and began reading.

"Ella's WONDERLAND? Yeah, not for long. This shall now be Ella's HELL. You ae posing as a threat. Kiefer and Dale have to be together, they have fangirls. They have adoption papers. They have wedding plans. They have a future. You may not. If anyone is going to get Kiefer, if Dale and he shall break up, knock on wood and pray they don't, I would get Kiefer, not you, skany slutty bitch. Everyone will hate you by the end of this day, and I'll make sure of that! Rumors are spreading, and your blogSPLASH url is now being written on every desk I can touch, good luck, I have keys to the building. No needing to know how I got those ☺ Watch your back, bitch" 

That was only the first paragraph. There were eleven more paragraphs, more than likely, all the same. I stuffed the note in my bag, leaning my head back. Who could have wrote something so harsh? Mean letters carved in hard white paper. The words hurt, I hadn't felt this pain since Dale had broken up with me.

*"Why can't you just say it! You don't love me! You hate me! You want to break up!" I screamed at him. Dale closed his eyes, I knew it was taking everything in him to not hit me. His fists were clenched, and his throat.

"Because, Ella! I don't hate you!" He complained, a bad moan passing his lips.

"But you don't love me! I don't deserve this, this.. pain! It hurts, Dale, horribly!" 

"I know, Ella! It hurts me too!" Dale yelled.

"Then why are you doing it?! You brought it up! I could think we were still happy, but you told Ariana you didn't love me! Or like me! That you just called me your girlfriend to say you had one!" I screamed, tears fell down my face, and I quit trying to stop them. This break up seemed to not be phazing Dale at all, I was clearly the only one hurt. 

"Just do it." I whispered.

"So you want to break up?" He asked.

"Well I don't want to be stuck in a dead end relationship! You don't like me!" I shouted.

"Fine!" he screamed, "It's over!" I felt like my heart had literally cracked, I ran from him, bawling. How could he stand there, straigh faced? Had he not liked me that long?! My crys racked my body, I pounded my head with my fists. It was my fault. It was always, my fault. I hated myself, I dodn't even deserve a boyfriend, god I was so weird! I was clingy, overlyattached, it was my fault! I wasn't good enough, that's all. It was my fault I lost Dale.*

I sucked in air, since then I had realized it wasn't my fault, it was Dale's. Dale quit loving me, quit trying. Dale was abusive, and harsh. He had fury and didn't know who else to take it out on. I had been the victim, and my stupid heart had told me, 'it's okay, this is how relationships are!' But they weren't, and no girl deserved that, no matter what. I read the second pharagragh on the page, it was immensly short. 

"You have no-one to be upset with but yourself. Guys don't like you because you're a freak. Well, actually, you could blame your mother, for not going on the pill or aborting your sorry ass. Or your dad for not using a condom. Freak" 

I curled up in a ball, I always failed at not letting words get to me. I was a freak, I truely was. I only had one friend, who was gay, with my ex now. How was this civilized, that I was okay with it? Shouldn't I hate him? I should, I guess. But I didn't, I couldn't. I loved him, and until I stopped loving him, I'd stay by his side. I would keep him as my friend, because he was, you know.. I'd stay there all night whenever Dale played a jerkish move on him, I'd listen to him cry, make him feel better. When they broke up, I'd help Kiefer through it, and then, when his heart was easied, I'd slowly slip out of love with him, and leave his life. Permently. I'd move away, somewhere far, like Cali. I'd forget this who life had ever happened. It would work out fine, as long as this note and replies on blogSPLASH didn't kill me first. I sighed, getting up off the ground. I placed my bag on my shoulder, and walked home. Straight out the frount doors, down the campus walk, down the highway, down my street's sidewalk, in my froun door, up my stairs, down my hall, to my room. I laid down on the bed, and just cried. I still had 6 more classes for the day, and then it was the weekend, but I decided that today needed to be a 'sick' day.

My phone buzzed. "FagzRG8 has left you a PM" Great, hello fagz, ready to ruin my day even more? Give it a shot, I don't think it can be.

FagzRG8: lol, u iz SUCH a S:(D caze! thk Chaz snt u tht message? lawl. u rnt even close. hv fun cryin @ the stares 2dy? had fun watchin' u. such a bby! (photo attached: image185: lol, bby cumdumpster)

He had taken a picture of me, in a ball on the floor. I took a deep breath. I had to reply.

Ella'sWONDERLAND: Did you send me that note/letter?

FagzRG8: Yh, biatch. Read da truff.

Ella'sWONDERLAND: Will do. Night.

With that, I signed off, curled up in bed, and slept.