Airmail [A CEO Larry Fanfiction]

The Meeting

It was the first time Louis had ever done a giveaway. On the face of it, it seemed simple, just say that people have to like, comment and follow his clothing brand's account and they would win an original orange and purple elephant football shirt. So many people had done it before, so he was sure he'd also be able to.

This, however, was not the case.

When the giveaway ended, Louis had lost eight followers on his Instagram account, but numbers didn't mean anything to him. All he cared about was giving the winners what they deserved.

He had scrolled through all the comments, checking that they'd followed his instructions and added them to an online randomiser, pressing the 'GO' button and waiting for a username to appear on his screen. After a few seconds had gone by, pixelated confetti showered his screen, announcing that Instagram user @shredder_fan_1 was the lucky winner.

He loaded up his Instagram app and navigated to the person's account. Unsurprisingly, the account was dedicated to shredders of all types. Louis scrolled momentarily; who knew there were so many shredders in the world? He certainly didn't!

After learning about the history of a shredder, which Louis was pretty sure was definitely not used for innocent purposes, he composed a message for the person:

heyyyy girly. just saying u r the winner of the giveaway yaaaaaay <3 send me ur address & i will post over ur shirt hehehe what size do u wear??? xxxxx – louielou from ClothesXClothesXShoes

It only took a minute before a reply popped up in his inbox. Louis opened the message quickly, eager to get everything in motion before he could start doubting his ability to communicate.

Dearest Louis,

I am delighted to read your message! I cannot believe I am this fortunate to have attained one of your stunning garments for my use. I shall cherish it until my final breath, ensuring that it does not come to any harm.
I wear a size Medium, but I am rather partial to a Large so I am able to have more space for movements.
Please send my winnings to 39 Olivia Ave. New York, NY 10028.

Veritus et aequitus,
H. Styles
CEO
Shredder Appreciation Society
+1 (603) 292-8403

Louis said "oh no" when he saw it was an international address. In hindsight, he should've said it was only in the UK, but there was nothing he could do now. This was the bed he'd made, and he had to sleep in it.

Still, he got up and started to pack up the shirt from his tiny garage warehouse in Saltaire. And, because he was nice, he even threw in a chicken and mushroom pasty in the shipping package. When he opened the parcel, he was sure this H. Styles man would be over the moon to have a beautiful buttery and flaky snack.

He wrote the address in violet glittery gel pen, adding a crude drawing of an elephant to really add an extra flair to the label. When he was happy with his artwork, he put the lid back on the pen and settled down to look at his work. "I'm so talented," he whispered to himself, nodding happily.

This small task made him forget that he had no idea how to actually get this thing to Mr. Styles in New York. He reached for his laptop and typed in "how 2 post tings ye" into Google, which gave him no hits. He couldn't believe this! Maybe nobody posted things anymore. It was 2013! Everyone was too busy talking on BBM and Beebo to possibly send things via the postal services.

He decided to forget about it, pasty and shirt sitting abandoned at the foot of his bed (because he was also sleeping in the garage/warehouse since he had used all his money to set up his beloved company) as he sat amongst his Cheddar, the dog from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, duvet set.

He must've fallen asleep because the next thing he heard was his phone pinging away. Annoyed, he rolled over, rubbing his Bering Sea Shrek-coloured eyes as the sunlight streamed through the missing bricks in his home. "Ugh," Louis groaned, unlocking his phone and seeing who was blowing up his phone all of a sudden.

My beloved Louis,

I am messaging to request an update on my football chemise.

All the best,
H. Styles
CEO
Shredder Appreciation Society
+1 (603) 292-8403

Louis scrolled through his notifications, feeling his stomach turn. How long had he been asleep? Surely, it had only been a few hours?

Good afternoon, Louis

Once again, I am contacting you regarding the item you were to post to my home address.
I am eagerly awaiting your future communications.

Kind and loving regards,
H. Styles
CEO
Shredder Appreciation Society
+1 (603) 292-8403

Another message popped up when Louis was looking through the message thread. He jumped to it, knowing H. Styles could see he was now reading the texts.

Louis,

I am now losing my patience with you, and I am a very patient man. Please reply to my messages post-haste, or I must contact my lawyers to work this situation out in the court of law.

Expecting your response,
H. Styles
CEO
Shredder Appreciation Society
+1 (603) 292-8403

Louis looked at the message for a few minutes before he started to type, not thinking as his fingers hit his Blackberry keyboard.

i jst got a call from the airplane babes and it cldnt be shipped cuz the plane crashed tht was takin it to u xxxxxxx

H. Styles instantly started to reply, three dots bouncing around at the bottom left of Louis' small screen.

Dear Louis,

I am glad to hear that you are well, as our last communication was over a fortnight ago.
Please do not lie to me about the aeroplane. I require proof of such a claim before I consider calling off legal action.

Best,
H. Styles
CEO
Shredder Appreciation Society
+1 (603) 292-8403

Louis let out a long sigh but quickly remembered that he could edit the code of websites and get to it, making something that looked somewhat convincing to get this guy's lawyers off his back. With it made, he took a picture on his Blackberry, smiling to himself when he realised his low-quality camera would work in his favour for once.

He looked at the picture before sending it over, knowing his work was almost done.

look its on da news and everytin. sooooo cazy ahaha what r the chances........ srry for that luv :/ xxxxxx

And, with that, he blocked @shredder_fan_1, vowing never to hold a giveaway ever again.