resolutions / malum

-two-

//this is shorter than my dick but//

-two-

michael

"what was your new years resolution?" ashton asked michael, throwing his feet up on the coffee table.

michael smirked. "fuck more bitches, get money."

ashton rolled his eyes. "you're going to end up with a buttload of diseases and i'm going to laugh when your balls get so irritated that they fall off."

"fuck off, ashton. i will only be banging dudes."

"i'm pretty sure that the ass is open to just as many diseases as the vagina."

"well, i wear condoms most of the time."

ashton groaned. "i'm really glad you aren't into girls, because we'd have at least three mini-michael's running around, and i don't think the world is prepared for that yet."

"i'm sure that's meant to be an insult but i'm going to take it as a compliment."

ashton nodded. "that absolutely was not meant to be a compliment and i would appreciate it if you didn't take it as one."

"hate to break it to you, but i take everything as a compliment."

"i'm aware. you're a complete douchebag."

"i know."

"stop!"