Super Crush (BxB)

Accidental Behavior (S2)

I didn't nap, and I didn't wait. I couldn't. I knew I had to get to Abe and Clay and tell them about what I found. I didn't think to let them know I would be coming over sooner than originally planned.

I grabbed my jacket and immediately went to the closet. With my mind swirling, I walked the underground tunnel and meandered to the docks. Even though I got there an hour before our regular meeting time, Vito was already at his spot waiting for me. Or maybe just hanging out, but it made no difference. Had my mind no already been full of other things, I would have asked him if secretly driving people around was his occupation or a side hustle.

In what seemed like a blip, I arrived on the island, made it to the stadium, and was already stepping off the elevator in the bunker. 

The Godzilla idea of my mom talking to my dad behind my back is destroying all of my brain cells like the city skyscrapers crumbling under the giant lizard's feet. This distraction keeps me from questioning why no one was in the training room, kitchen, or command center. My feet carry me to the door on the right at the back of the long room. The light coming from the gap beneath lets me know someone is home.

The first night in the bunker, I had no idea what was waiting behind the trio of doors. I have since found out that the left door leads to the sleeping quarters and bathroom. They are dorm-style, so I don't envy the guys. With all the products I have stashed away in the linen closet at home, I would be terrible at sharing a common sink space.

The middle garage door leads to a hangar. There is a small VTOL aircraft, a few ATVs, and a lot of training robots in varying degrees of functionality. Abe told me there is a secondary armory and vehicle garage somewhere on the mainland.

And the right door was the lab. It gives off major high school chem class vibes. But I know Clay has taken over the section in the rear, for there is a back table with art supplies strewn upon it.

When I walk into the bright, clean box of the lab room, I find Clay and Abe. The guys abruptly end a hushed conversation they're having, clearly surprised to see me.

"You're early," Abe says with an eyebrow raise.

I ignore this and the pink of his cheeks because my mind is already an avalanche of other thoughts and my boys are the boutique Aspen ski resort about to get my tidal wave of snow.

"Umm, you guys don't think my mom is talking to my dad, right? I know that sounds crazy but I think it is a legit possibility that they are."

They both stare at me flabbergasted.

"I was under the impression she thought he was dead, but when I creeped on her phone, I found some shit. But maybe I am going crazy, you know?"

"Noah," Abe says so seriously that I pause my whole breakdown. "We can definitely talk more about this. I don't think you are going crazy, but maybe we can back burner it for a second."

That's when I realize that I had walked in on something. Clay and Abe's closeness. The quiet volume of the chat they were having. Their attention elsewhere when I was delivering my dramatic findings. And now Clay's inability to look this way.

The tension is suddenly unmistakable. My hand goes out in front of me and starts making a small circle as if I am opening a portal in a Dr. Strange movie.

"Ahh, what's going on here?" I ask.

"Noah, we have to tell you something."

Abe says my name in the same stony tone. I don't like it one bit.

"It's shitty, but please understand that it was an accident," Abe adds.

There is something hidden in his words. Something that says this accident isn't forgetting to listen to the playlist I shared with them or eating the last cherry Pop-tart. My stomach sinks into a pit of lava. As it is engulfed in flames, my fight response kicks in.

"What the hell are you talking about? What was an accident?"

They know I am getting annoyed. Abe looks at Clay, who's still casting his eyes on the floor. As if they have an agreement that Clay has to be the messenger, the gentle giant tells me what happened.

"I kissed Abe," Clay says, still unable to make eye contact with me.

The words enter my ears. They vibrate against my eardrums. My cells move the message along, changing it into electricity. The energy is sent through my nerves to my brain. But still nothing. The statement is so outrageously foreign to me, I can't even comprehend its meaning.

I laugh. Go-to inappropriate reaction #1. Part of me is still dazed and part desperately wants to believe it's a joke. But looking at the two of them, I know they are telling the truth.

"But you guys don't even like each other?!" is all I can muster.

"It happened last Wednesday," Clay says, finally looking at me. His eyes are possibly the saddest I have ever seen them.

Abe takes over, "We were on a mission together and things got hairy."

Abe: Says hairy.

My brain: And go! Release inappropriate reaction #2!

My mind flashes to Clay's bare chest in the school pool.

But the pervy thought is lost immediately. I let out a long exhale.

"Clay helped me. And I was caught in a moment. And he was caught in the same moment. And it just happened. But, really it meant nothing." When Abe is in an uncomfortable situation, he tends to over-explaining things.

And in some situations, there is this mode I sometimes go into. Abe knows it well because he has seen it from me over the years. In the time I've known Clay, I am sure he has seen me in it, but I am not certain he really knows the full extent.

I don't freak out. I don't scream. I'm collected and steely.

With the coldest stare and the steadiest voice, I look Abe in his eyes, "Fuck you."

It's not sour feelings or a conspicuous insult. It's just a friendship-ending truth.

I pivot to Clay and in the same serial killer style I tell him how I feel. "Fuck you, too."

As if I close a huge dusty book in their faces, saying The End, I turn from them and walk away.

"Noah," I hear the pleading in Clay's voice, but I am already pressing the lab's heavy door open out into the main hall.

"Hey, where you going, buddy?" Dad asks as he approaches me coming from the direction of the elevator.

"I'm done," I say as fatly as I just told the two guys who mean the world to me to fuck off.

Dad lightly grabs my wrist and faces me. This shakes free the tear that was building in my right eye. I look away so he can't see it run slowly down my face.

"What's wrong, wild thing?"

I am about to let it all go out. I want to. I want to tell him what just happened and hope he can walk me back from the ledge, but then the back burner shit of Dad possibly talking to Mom joins the  Abe and Clay betrayal party.

"I can't. I can't be here right now," I respond, pulling my arm from his grasp and moving on with my escape route.

My fight has worn off and my flight is in full effect. When the lift cranks to life and starts raising me up, I look back and see my Dad's concern and confusion. But I don't say anything.

I try to keep my composure and look up as the elevator brings me back to ground level.

It's when the salt of my tears and the salt in the sea air mix in the chilly night that I lose it. I can't help but think about Abe and Clay. This whole time, I've been so worried that I was going to break one of their hearts when I should've been more concerned about them shattering mine.