My Boy Best Friend

Chapter Eight

Liam

I glanced through my opened window, wondering if she saw it yet. When I came home, I opened it immediately. My plan to help Trent with Jordan was simple. I was going to have him over, open the window to try to get her here, and then Trent was going to be here and open the door. Now the trickiest part is getting Jordan to come over, especially because she probably wants nothing to do with me, and I can't say I blame her.

All I want is for them to talk, work things out. I didn't tell Trent about anything, I'm just hoping they get to talking and I happen to be passing by and I can hopefully fix things for them. I want to talk to both of them and get them closer so that he'll get a better understanding of the kind of person she is, and who better to help them with that than me?

Okay, maybe it's a terrible plan. There's no way Jordan is actually going to show-

I heard footsteps leading up to my bedroom door, and I whipped my head around expecting to see Trent. What I didn't expect to see was Jordan, panting as if she had just run a 10k before coming here, and looking at every other part of my except for my eyes.

She just stood there. No words flowing out of her mouth, but also none flying out of mine. We were just existing, about 8 feet apart from the other, facing each other. A thousand words were said at each breath, at each time our eyes accidentally met. 

I swallowed, so hard my Adam's apple bobbed in my throat. I should say something-

"I...", Jordan began, filling the silence. "I don't know what I'm doing here."

I cleared my throat, every plan and every thought I had in my mind vanished. "I don't know what you're doing here, either."

She finally met my eyes, hers squinting in uncertainty. "Your window...why?"

I glanced at my window. I couldn't explain this to her, what was I thinking? "What about it?"

She pointed. "It's open."

My eyes anchored to the window. "Oh, yeah I guess it is."

She shook her head. "So, you didn't do that on purpose?"

I couldn't do this. I can't talk to her. She has to leave before my body implodes. "I didn't do that at all."

Jordan shook her head in confusion, shutting her eyes. "Wait a minute, you didn't open that window?"

I shook my head. This was a bad idea, I didn't know it would be so hard for me to talk to her honestly. I just needed her to go. I had to let her leave her with no hope of us renewing our friendship, seeing and speaking to her didn't help me.  "No, Trent must've."

She let out a breath, turning in all directions in embarrassment. "Okay, I'll go."

"Wait!" My tongue spoke before I could even think, and she whipped around to look at me, hope glimmering in her eyes. "You should talk to Trent."

Any soft look she had in her facial structure disappeared in seconds. "You should mind your own business."

And with that, she disappeared down the stairs.

----------------------

"Are you SERIOUS?" Brandon practically shouted at me after I told him what happened between Jordan and I. "I mean come on, how did you manage to mess it up that badly?"

"I just couldn't do it", I shrugged as I leaned against the wall in the school hallway. We were waiting after school for Trent to be done making up a test, and Brandon decided to take his anger from me out on cleaning and rummaging through his locker.

"'you just couldn't do it'", Brandon glared at me. "You now have broken any piece of hope or trust left in her for you. She will never talk to you again. You had your chance and you destroyed it."

I groaned. "You have no idea how hard it was for me."

"You have no idea how hard it was for her", Brandon retorted. "Do you know how much guts she had walking over to your place after two years of not speaking to each other, which was your fault by the way, just for you to reject her once again?"

I buried my face in my hands. "I'll make it up to her, somehow."

"You're damn right you will", Brandon shut his locker. "What do you want with her now, anyway? So you wanna fix things between her and Trent, but is that it? If you talk to her, don't you think maybe she's going to want a friendship again? Or, perhaps, you are gonna want something with her again? Either you're going to set her back up with Trent and remain either friends or not, or you're going to want her for yourself and hell with Trent."

I looked up at him from the floor. "I can't be friends with her, again. I just can't, it's too hard. And I wanted to set things straight between her and Trent but I don't want to."

Brandon thought for a moment. "You're still not over her?"

"Couldn't you tell?" I let out a breath, kicking back from the wall. "I sabotaged anything that Jordan might like about Trent just because I was jealous. I literally stopped being friends with her for two years because I was so in love with her I couldn't sleep, everything was her. I ended a friendship with the most important person in my entire life because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable so she didn't have to make the hard choice of choosing either our friendship or turning it into something more. I was selfish because I rejected her so she didn't reject me, and now I can't even look at her, or talk to her or even talk about her. I bring girls around every single week just to be able to feel something with someone else but it never fucking works. It never works and I hate it so damn much and I know it's all my fault. But I didn't know if she wanted to make more of something between us or not because I never even asked her, I didn't have the guts to. And now I'm ashamed to even speak to her. So, I don't blame her if she wants nothing to do with me. I fucked everything up for the past two years, making every wrong decision left and right just because I was so in love I couldn't stand it and I lost all train of thought. I messed with her and her head, I fucked with her feelings, and God knows what else I put her through but I regret it every single day and I will for the rest of my life. I don't deserve her, she's way too good for me. She deserves a nice guy like Trent, and I'm going to help them get together."

Brandon listened to every word I said in my rant, and I could tell he believed me. All he could do was nod.He couldn't defend me nor tell me I should go after her. He knew I was right. 

"Okay", I nodded back, sighing. A door opened behind me, and I turned my head to see Trent walking out of the classroom.