I Still Love You, I Promise

Imma Love You Even Though I'm Scared

"I thought you'd enjoy the view from up there,"

･❪ ❁ ❫ ･

*Taz POV*

"Taz, please report to the confessional," one of the producers announces over the intercom. I'm grateful for the excuse to leave. Carmen has been rambling about one of her regular clients who never tips, and I've been tuning her out for the past several minutes. Honestly, she might have a crush on the guy, considering how much she tolerates his behaviour. It's the third time I've heard this story, and I wonder why she even lets him come back.

I head toward the confessional, my thoughts still drifting, until I step into the blinding light of the cameras. After weeks of this, I've grown used to it, though the heat always makes me blink a little.

"Hi, Taz. Thanks for coming," Jennifer greets me, her voice calm and business-like.

"Hey, Jennifer," I respond, forcing a smile that feels too tight. "No problem." Not like I had a choice.

"Let's get started," she says. I brace myself for the usual interrogation. "How are you feeling today?"

I almost laugh at how absurd the question feels. How do they expect me to answer? I'm stuck in this limbo, the girl I love is gone, and Victoria has reappeared like a bad dream, trying to wedge herself back into my life. How do I feel? I feel trapped.

"I'm fine," I reply with a strained smile. "Everything's fine."

Jennifer's silence tells me she's not buying it. She's waiting for me to crack, but if they think I'll pour my heart out because of one generic question, they're sorely mistaken.

"How was your date with Victoria?" Ah, there it is. I'm surprised they didn't ask sooner. Maybe they wanted to let me stew in it for a while. The truth is, the memory of Victoria's hands on me makes me sick. I'd rather endure ten hours of vomiting than relive that date.

"It was fine," I say, keeping my answer as flat as possible. I'm determined to give them nothing today because that's how I feel: nothing. Without Harper here, I'm empty.

"Were you surprised she picked you?" Jennifer's head tilts, feigning interest.

Surprised? No, not really. I shouldn't have been.

"Not particularly," I answer with a shrug.

"And why's that?"

"Victoria's the same as she always was," I say coldly. "She never liked Harper. Toying with her always seemed like a game to her."

Jennifer nods slowly, like she's piecing together a puzzle. "Do you think she's toying with you now? To get to Harper?"

"I don't know," I say, feeling my frustration bubble up. "Maybe. Maybe she's trying to cause drama. Or maybe she's run out of people to mess with and thinks I'm her best shot at attention. I really don't know!" My voice rises, and I realize too late that I've lost my cool. I clench my fists, trying to rein myself in. "Sorry," I mutter. "That was too much."

Jennifer offers a tight smile, acknowledging my apology.

"Do you think Victoria has changed at all since she's been gone?"

"Not from what I've seen, and frankly, I don't care to see more," I snap, cutting off that line of questioning.

Jennifer moves on, sensing I'm done talking about Victoria. "How are you feeling without Harper around?"