Lost between the pages

Chapter 1 - What's the point

I don't understand why we exist really if i look down to the cause of all my feelings. I don't understand why we wake up always tired drag our tired limbs to the coffee shop just around the corner ordering a latte with a extra shot of coffee just for the hope it will help us get through the day and then off to work. A job we don't enjoy and although you manage to laugh with your work friends you always dread going and watch the clock waiting for the time to go home. You go home exhausted and make tea and before you know it your dragging yourself back out of bed and get ready to do it all again. The world spins and your little tiny existence makes no impact you just exist dragging through life exhausted. Its hard to find a point to it all especially when your like Rory  someone who spends all there time stuck in there head running through every conversation they have every had and every mistake they have ever made and feeling anxious when she somehow cant remember something its a hard way to live at 22. You would have thought she would have had everything sorted out and be happy. She should be past the hard teenage years but it seems things only get harder with every year that gets added onto your life. This makes her think what's the point in getting old and when those thoughts get to tough she sticks her head in a book and read about story's that are pure and interesting and feel like they have meaning. That the life she is meant to be living. One from the many story's she has been reading maybe if  she was as interesting as the characters maybe she would feel more like she belonged or maybe she would feel like she can at least turn a year older without the dread of what it will bring. You almost want to believe that magic is real that there is a bigger meaning to all of this That's where Rory's thoughts brought her tonight while curled up on the couch book in hand but not a single word read. Sometimes she didn't want to stop the thinking she felt if she thought about it all that it would empty from her brain but she always ended up with more questions. Wanting to get away now Rory stretched open  her book and began to read.

 The cold autumn night drifted into her small apartment as she read the story about a girl named Lucy who lived in a small cottage on the edge of town her eyes watered as she flicked the page shoving her thoughts to the furthest part of her brain. After half a hour she was fully engrossed in her book and all thoughts now stuffed in a draw in the back of her mind she pulled herself of the couch book still in hand and made her way over to a dark room on the other side of the apartment. Rory didn't bother with the light she drew the covers back and climbed under the covers and curled into a ball she let the world slip away as she closed her eyes

She woke with a start in the morning jumping up from the bed  and checking the time on her phone 5:30 am what was that 4 hours of sleep again. She made her way over to the dresser examining her face in the mirror. Her face was thin and pale her eyes dark and purple circles crowded the underneath. She pulled her scraggly brown hair into a messy bun and moved back over to the bed. she settled back down in bed and grabbed her book which had be flung onto the bedside table the night before and she prayed that her brain would let her get lost between the pages even if it was just for a little while. Her weeks past in a blur of grabbing her coffee barely surviving her days at work and heading home to get lost among the pages. Before she knew it Christmas was here and everyone was so bloody cheerful and it annoyed Rory. She had nothing to be cheerful for and no one to enjoy Christmas with and work just got busier. As she woke on the early morning of December 18th she has no idea that this day would change everything.

At 5:20am she rose from her warm bed and grabbed her new book of the bedside table and read the front cover Iris and the book of love. She sighed and rolled her eyes. She opened the first page and started reading , this wasn't her normal kind of book the whole romance novel thing makes her feel a little sick but she found this book stashed in a box in the attic and she has read everything else. She only got 3 pages in before putting it down with a sigh. She got ready into her little summer dress and pulled her hair into a braid. She let out a steady breath as she tried to fix the bags under her eyes. She pushed her book into her bag and made her way out the front door. Her walk to the coffee shop was slow as she felt the cold winter air freeze her fingers and toes off but she couldn't bring herself to walk faster. She was tired and the world felt pointless and she was beginning to wonder why she was forcing herself to do this every day. Rory was lost in thought as she pushed open the coffee shop doors. she was startled from her thoughts when she hit something hard. Not something , someone and he looked angry