Quatervois

Chapter 4

Taehyung quietly walked into his room, the familiar warmth of the space feeling oddly distant now. The weight of his father's words pressed down on him like a heavy fog, making it hard to think clearly. He sat on the edge of his bed, his hands resting limply in his lap as his eyes fixed on the wall in front of him, though he wasn't really seeing it. His mind was racing, overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. What should he do? How could he leave Jungkook behind like this? And yet, how could he go against his father's wishes?

His heart tugged in two directions, one pulling him toward the love he shared with Jungkook, the other weighed down by his sense of duty to his father. How could everything feel so impossible all at once? he thought bitterly. The ache in his chest grew with each passing second, and before he could stop himself, tears welled up in his eyes. His vision blurred as the tears slipped silently down his cheeks, and he quickly wiped them away with the back of his hand, frustrated by how powerless he felt.

Not wanting to waste any more time, Taehyung picked up his phone, his fingers trembling as he typed out quick messages to Jackson, Mark, and Bambam. They were his closest friends, and he needed to let them know what was happening before he left. His heart panged with regret as he sent each message, telling them he was leaving for America, not knowing when or if he'd be back. The reality of the situation was sinking in with every word he typed. I'm really leaving, he thought, the finality of it hitting him like a punch in the gut.

But there was one person he hadn't reached out to yet. The most important person.

Jungkook.

Taehyung's breath hitched in his throat as he opened their chat, staring at the screen, unsure of what to say. His hands hovered over the keys, but he couldn't bring himself to type anything. His heart ached at the thought of leaving without a proper goodbye, but he didn't have the courage to call Jungkook. He didn't trust himself to hold it together if he heard Jungkook's voice. After a few moments of indecision, Taehyung swallowed hard and decided to record a voice message instead. He pressed the record button, his voice shaky as he began.

"Hi... are you already asleep? Or are you playing Overwatch?"

He smiled weakly as the memory of Jungkook hunched over his gaming setup flashed in his mind. There had been so many times when Taehyung would climb onto his boyfriend's lap mid-game, demanding attention, pretending to be annoyed that Jungkook wasn't focused on him. Jungkook would laugh, half-heartedly pretending to be irritated, but Taehyung knew he loved the playful interruptions.

Taehyung giggled softly at the memory, but the sound was laced with sadness. His voice wavered as he continued.

"Anyway, Kookie... I was going to call you, but I... I didn't have the courage." He paused, swallowing against the lump forming in his throat. "You know your muffin doesn't have much courage."

His breath hitched as he tried to keep his voice steady, but the tears were already threatening to spill again. He blinked quickly, willing himself not to cry just yet. He needed to finish this. He needed to say goodbye, even if it was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.

"I don't know if what I'm doing is right or wrong... but I will miss you," he whispered, his voice cracking as the words left his lips. His tears were falling freely now, and he hurriedly wiped them away, though his vision remained blurred. He bit down on his lower lip, trying to suppress a sob, but it was no use. His heart felt like it was breaking with every word he said.

"Appa told me... that he's sending me somewhere to study. We're leaving today... right now, actually." His voice trembled with the weight of the confession, the finality of it.

Taehyung closed his eyes, squeezing them shut as he struggled to get the last words out. "I think... I think our love story has finally come to an end. I'm so sorry, Kookie. I'm sorry for being such a coward." A soft sob escaped him despite his best efforts to hold it in, but he quickly recovered, his voice barely above a whisper now. "I'll always love you..."

With trembling hands, Taehyung stopped the recording and stared down at his phone, his heart shattering in his chest. He hesitated for a moment before pressing send, watching as the message was delivered. A hollow emptiness settled over him as soon as he let it go. He had said his goodbye, but it didn't feel real. How could it?

Taehyung stood up abruptly, his legs feeling weak beneath him as he rushed to the bathroom, needing to pull himself together. He stood in front of the mirror, staring at his reflection. His face was red and blotchy from crying, his eyes swollen with unshed tears. He barely recognized himself. The boy who looked back at him was a shadow of the Taehyung he used to be — confident, full of laughter, full of love. Now, all he felt was confusion and heartache.

He splashed cold water on his face, trying to wash away the evidence of his tears. He couldn't let his father see him like this. Taehyung wiped his face with a towel, forcing a shaky breath in and out, trying to steady himself. He looked into the mirror one last time, his eyes dull and lifeless. This was happening. He was leaving. There was no way out of it.

A few minutes later, Taehyung walked out of his room, feeling a heavy sense of resignation wash over him. His father was waiting by the door, already holding the packed suitcases. Mr. Kim gave him a small, reassuring smile, but Taehyung barely managed to return it. His heart felt like it was sinking deeper and deeper with each step he took toward the door.

Without another word, the two of them left the house, stepping into the waiting car. As they drove away, Taehyung stared out the window, watching the streets of Seoul pass by in a blur, his mind numb and his heart aching. The city he had called home for so long was slipping away, just like the life he had built here. He thought of Jungkook, of the love they had shared, and wondered if there was any way to hold onto it, even as the distance between them grew.

But deep down, Taehyung knew the truth.

He wasn't just leaving Seoul. He was leaving behind everything he had ever known, and the love of his life.

And he didn't know if he would ever come back.