Dark Desire-Caught between duty and desire (englisch version

Chapter 3

**Despia's POV:**

My mother stood in the doorway, her hands loosely clasped in front of her. Her face was marked by a softness I rarely saw in her – the sternness that usually etched her every glance was absent.

"May I come in?" Her eyes searched mine, and I nodded. She stepped quietly onto the balcony and sat down in the chair beside me, her gaze briefly fixed on the distance. For a moment, neither of us spoke, and I wasn't sure how to break the silence.

"I heard that Corvin stayed with you after that night," she finally said softly. There was no accusation in her voice, only curiosity. "It was... an unusual decision, especially for him."

"He wanted to make sure I was safe," I replied cautiously, unsure how much to reveal. "I was so exhausted, and being alone... I just couldn't bear it."

"You asked him to stay?" she inquired gently.

I nodded slowly and looked down at my hands, which were clenching nervously. "Yes. I didn't want..." I trailed off, searching for the right words. "I didn't want to be alone. With him... I feel protected."

My mother remained silent, and when I looked up, I noticed that she was studying me intently, her lips pressed together slightly, as if holding back a question. Finally, she sighed and placed a hand on mine. "You know this is complicated, don't you? I mean, between you and Corvin."

"I know," I whispered, feeling my heart start to beat faster. "But... Mother, I... I feel drawn to him, more than I should. And it scares me."

"Why?" Her voice was soft, without pressure.

"Because I might hurt him." I turned my gaze away, fighting the tears that welled up in my eyes. "And because I'm not sure if what I feel is right. He is my friend, my confidant... but in the last few days, since he's been so close to me, I feel like there's more. Something I can't define. But... I'm so confused."

"What do you feel when he's with you?" my mother asked quietly. Her question was genuine, without judgment, and I sensed that she truly wanted to understand.

"I feel safe," I whispered and placed a hand on my chest, as if trying to calm its erratic beating. "And sheltered. As if nothing bad could happen as long as he's near. But... I also know he looks at me differently. Sometimes... I'm afraid I might hurt his feelings if I don't feel the same way he does."

"And what about Lux?" Her voice sharpened slightly, and I looked up.

His name alone made me flinch inwardly. "Lux..." A wave of fear and disgust washed over me. "I can't stand him, Mother. He terrifies me. He's going to hurt me, I know it. And I will never let that happen."

My mother looked at me with an expression I couldn't decipher – pity, anger, perhaps even guilt. "Despia... I wish I could help you out of this situation. But the alliance between our houses... it's so important. Your father and I... we're just trying to protect you."

"Protect me?" I asked bitterly, clenching my hands into fists. "From what? From political disgrace? From war? But what about my heart, Mother? What about my desires?"

"Do you think I had a choice?" she suddenly asked sharply, and I saw her eyes darken, filled with memories of a time she would rather forget. "Do you think I wanted to marry Hades? I had no choice, Despia. I was forced to choose between Zeus and him – between a life of fear and a life in a cage. But then..." Her voice broke, and she closed her eyes briefly, as if to sort through her thoughts. "Then I discovered something. Something true, something deep. I learned to love Hades for who he is."

"And you think I could do the same with Lux?" I asked sharply, my voice trembling with emotion. "That I could just learn to love someone who... who frightens me so much I can't even sleep at night?"