From all the death I've seen, I've grown numb. That's what happens when you watch the people you love die a slow and painful death, and know that there is nothing you could possibly do. Then sit there for hours on total suspense knowing that any second they are going to become one of them, a cold, dead, mindless eating machine. You can picture it so clearly.
The low ugly groans as that one person sits up slowly like his muscles already began to tighten. That look the give you like you're a piece of meat, not a human, not even like someone they loved. The groans get louder as he limps towards you without stretched arms, almost like he wants a hug. Till you look into his eyes and see his blood lust. You take a moment to think of both of your last happy moments together. With tears springing to your eyes you raise your hand with a shiny pistol in it, closed your eyes and let a tear run down your cheek. You slowly opened your eyes, and see that one person you loved so deeply limping towards you wanting only one thing.
"I love you." You whisper one last time and pull the trigger. Letting the tears run down your face as you watch him fall to their knees with one last groan as the last of the life slips out and into the nothingness.
You watch as the last person in your old life left, and now you were all alone. Knowing that you take a moment and figure you're alone, all alone. The tears from all the death, and killing caught up to you, and you fell. Everything around you just seemed to fall. Your world just broke and everything seemed useless. You take a deep breath in hope you could fight the tears, and hide them under the surface again. You put your forehead to the gross old carpet that was left in the room. Then from nowhere you hear a low groan again just like the one form minutes earlier. You slowly raise your head, and see the hands moving of the person you loved. You whip the tears from your cheeks and slowly stand. Staring down at him from a few feet away you scream at him not caring if any of the others find you, not caring if you die you just need to tell him he hurt you, and left you alone. Slurring a few curse words that you have never said before, just to show you were hurt, and mad. Taking the last few steps in between you two your frown deepens and the tears begin to fall again. You stand directly over him now and watch as the tears fall down onto him.
"You left me all alone, you've hurt me and left me to die." you begin to say through the tears "Why would you ever do this to me, leave me like this, alone, to fight those monsters by myself. You said you wouldn't leave me, that you loved me."
You try to look him in the eyes but you see the hunger in them and have to look away. You look at his chest where you must have shot him, just inches away from the heart. You bend over and kiss the only clean spot on his forehead and whisper in his ear like he could actually hear what you're saying.
"I really do love you, Jayson, and I'm sorry." you whisper and stand up straight. Once again you raise the shiny pistol and aim it at his head. Trying to focus through your tears you scream once more and pull the trigger. Without looking where you were falling, you fell next to his now dead body. The feelings of anger not towards him exactly but towards the way everything's turned out. Overpowered with rage, and hate you sit up and hit the ground next to you. You stand, and another line of curse words escape your lips as you punch the closes wall, over , and over again not able to feel the pain that was rushing over your entire body. You lose the thought of living to kill the monsters that killed your family, and the one boy you will ever love. You scream again like that's the only way to solve your problems, and get rid of your anger. Not caring if you die, actually hoping that you do die, just to rid of the pain and anger. You finally stop punching the wall and walk over to the corner and slid down to a ball. A few thoughts rush through your head and you begin to play with the gun you still have in your hand.
"What's the point? You're alone and slowly dying. Why go through the pain and suffering of another second?" You say under your breath. "There's nothing to look forward to, you've lost it all. Just forget about it, and end it all now, while you're ahead."
You feel like that's the only way to get out, to let this world rot and not have to go through it alone. You begin to play with the gun more and more. You open the chamber and see how many bullets you have left, and laugh. It's like somehow, god knew what you were thinking, and left you with just enough bullets. Your laughs die as you realize that he doesn't care if you live or die. He's given you the chance right now to choose what you want more. The anger becomes too much, and you throw the gun across the room and listen to the little thump it made when it hit the ground. The tears fight to come back from hidden prison, and show the world that it broke you. Why would something so simple, that's happened to countless other people, seem so meaningful and needed feeling?
You get tired of fighting back and give the tears what they want, and for once in this place you use to call home you feel happiness. Just by letting something like that come out made you happy. How? That's the problem, you don't know, and you wish you did, just to get the feeling of pain, and misery, that you're so use to back. You cry, and cry, for who knows how long, and finally found somewhere that you could stay forever, and be happy. Then you realized, you were by yourself, all over again even with that happy feeling you know you can never be truly happy.
Days passed with the smell of rotting flesh growing stronger by every moment. You haven't moved from that one spot, where all your tears fell. You stare at the wall as though it's the most amazing thing in the world. Knowing how the world is now, you think it may be. You've gotten thinner and thinner. With surprise you haven't disappeared into the background. With no more fluids in your body, there's no way to cry. That begins to anger you, and with amazing speed you fly across the room, and find the gun you threw days ago. You walk over to the boy you love, and lay next to him with the gun in your hand. You look over and see his decomposing face, and instead of anger you feel sick, and alone.
"I'm not mad at you love, it's not your fault. But do you really think I can live without the one boy I ever loved?" you whisper toward him, wishing he could hear you. "You know I can't. I loved you and I need you."
You look away from him, and up towards the hole in the ceiling towards the bright blue sky. Thinking of all he did... nothing. He let you have a choice and you were taking it.
Looking towards the sky you scream "If you really care you would stop me... I hate you." You pull your hand up to your head, close your eyes and, with a loud bang you....
You snap out of your vivid picture with a loud scream. You look at your watch and sigh it's only been a few minutes. You walk to the door that the boy you love is in. You slowly open the door and peek in. You could see he was awake but too weak to move. The bite caught up to him, and you could tell he was in pain. Seeing him in so much pain made you feel pained. You feel something running down your cheek, you raise your hand and swipe it across your cheek. You began to cry without even noticing. He groans and tries to turn.
You begin to remember what happened in your vivid picture and the tears flow more. You slowly walk over to the boy you love dying on the bed. He opens his eyes a little to look at you. You can see the feelings and life fading from his eyes. He sees your tears and with as much energy he could find he said "What's wrong, love?"
"You." you say looking in his eyes as much as you can. He attempts to say something to you, but unable to find any more energy to speak. You let the tears run down you face as you go for the gun in its holster, and pull it out slowly. You raise the gun and aim the barrel at his head.
"I love you, baby." you say once more, and pull the trigger.
