Age of zombies

[57] Tavern night for day 1 (part 1)

The pub was buzzing with the usual mix of post-shift exhaustion and relief. It had become our routine to meet up after work, a way to let off steam and share the day's insanity. The place was dimly lit, with the same old creaky tables and the constant murmur of people trying to forget about the apocalypse for a few hours.

Liza plopped herself down at our table, grabbing her beer and taking a long swig. She had that wild look in her eye—the kind she got when she was about to tell a ridiculous story.

"You guys are not gonna believe the shit I had to deal with today," Liza said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She leaned back in her chair, clearly ready to let loose.

"Oh, this sounds good," Daisy chimed in, raising an eyebrow as she sipped her drink. "What happened?"

Liza groaned, rolling her eyes. "I had to teach those damn kids about human reproduction."

There was a beat of silence, and then Ethan, sitting next to me, burst out laughing. "Wait, wait, you had to teach kids about sex? That's fucking gold."

Liza shot him a glare but couldn't help cracking a smile. "Yeah, real hilarious. You try talking about sperm and eggs without wanting to throw in a 'fuck' every other word. It's goddamn torture."

I leaned forward, curious. "So, how'd it go? You manage to get through it without swearing?"

"Barely," Liza said, shaking her head. "I swear, it's like every other sentence I was about to say something, and then I had to stop myself. Like, I was this close—" she held her fingers up, barely an inch apart, "—to blurting out something totally inappropriate."

Yabe, who had been quietly listening, looked a little concerned. "But you didn't, right? You didn't say anything... bad?"

Liza laughed, slamming her beer down on the table. "Nah, I kept it clean. Well, as clean as I can get. But man, it was frustrating. Like, these kids are asking all these innocent questions, and all I can think is how easy it would be to just say, 'Look, kids, your parents fucked, and now here you are.' But noooo, I had to be all, 'When a man and a woman come together, the sperm meets the egg.'"

Daisy snorted. "I would've paid to see you try to keep a straight face through that."

"It was painful," Liza said, rubbing her temples. "And of course, the kids were giggling the whole time, which made it worse. I'm standing there trying to explain the miracle of life, and they're laughing like I just told the world's dirtiest joke."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "That's gotta be rough. I mean, you're not exactly known for holding back when it comes to that stuff."

Liza pointed at me. "Exactly! You get it, Jake. It's like second nature for me to just say what's on my mind, but here I am, trying to be all 'professional' or whatever. I almost said 'ass' at one point, but I managed to change it to 'hard work.'" She rolled her eyes. "What a fucking joke."

Ethan leaned back, grinning. "So, you're telling me you didn't drop a single swear word the whole time? Not even one?"

"Nope," Liza said with a sigh. "I was on my best behavior. But God, it was hard. I swear, teaching kids about sex is like walking through a minefield. One wrong move, and boom—game over."

Daisy laughed, shaking her head. "Honestly, I don't know how you do it. I mean, I love kids and all, but teaching them about that? No thanks."

"Oh, it's not even the subject that's the problem," Liza said, leaning forward. "It's just... how do you explain something so normal in a way that doesn't make it sound ridiculous? Like, I'm standing there drawing diagrams and shit, and all I can think is, 'They're gonna learn the real details eventually, so what's the point of sugarcoating it?'"