And the second angel sounded, and as it were a great mountain burning with fire was cast into the sea: and the third part of the sea became blood; And the third part of the creatures which were in the sea, and had life, died; and the third part of the ships were destroyed.
Revelation 8: 8-9
"We're back from break. Joining us today is Mr. Gama Guerra, life-saving hero of the most recent Uvalde Elementary School shooting..."
"I really wish you wouldn't use that word, Greg. A hero wouldn't have lost two of his own students."
"I understand your pain, Mr. Guerra, but we may never know how many teachers and students owe you their lives after your courageous actions that day.
We've been chatting about some of the difficult problems facing America. I'd like to turn to the issue of abortion and some of the drastic measures Americans have been taking in the face of President Trump's universal bans. I understand this is another topic close to your heart."
"It is. As I mentioned earlier, my wife was killed just months before she was to give birth to our first child. A drunk illegal immigrant stole them both from me on the most devastating day of my life. I don't think anyone understands the value of human life more that someone who has had it so violently ripped from their arms. I am in full support of the abortion bans and..."
"Sorry to cut you off Mr. Guerra, but we have an interesting development. I imagine you're aware of the so-called Valkyries? Some call them a gang. They call themselves freedom fighters. The studio is telling me we have the actual leader of the Valkyries, known only as Boudikka, joining us via live video feed to discuss this subject. Welcome to the show, Boudikka."
"Thanks for giving me the opportunity to share the truth with your viewers, Greg."
"Our pleasure. We'll return to you momentarily. Sorry for the interruption, Mr. Guerra. Were you finished or did you have anything to ask Boudikka on this subject?"
"Well Greg, mostly I'm shocked that you would have this vigilante on your show after recent footage, I see you're showing it now. She and her gang mowed down a group of men simply walking down the sidewalk. I have nothing to say to this murderer."
"Boudikka?"
"'Very fine people on both sides', eh, Governor?"
"Boudikka, the rumors of Abbott being replaced are simply that to date: rumors."
"Oh, come on Greg. How many competent legislators across the country do we need to see replaced with orange-lipped sycophants before we know the score? How many more Democrats must we see jailed on trumped up charges before we admit the game is rigged? He will be the Governor within weeks and we both know it. Just like we both know those "good ole boys" weren't just out for an evening stroll."
"Be that as it may, many are calling your tactics barbaric. Aside from this hit and run, we have seen rape deterrents that mutilate men's penises beyond repair. The rumors are women are getting these so-called 'piranhas' from your gangs."
"Greg, let me put an end to those rumors right here and now. They are absolutely being distributed by the Valkyries. And if men don't want to lose their penis in our devices, they can simply not put them where they don't belong. Is that hard? I'm sorry. Is that difficult?"
"Mr. Guerra?"
"This barbarism speaks for itself, Greg. And there have been multiple reports of this happening to innocent men just out on dates. What if someone's wife forgets she is wearing the device?"
