"If one day I die, nothing will change, right?"
In the bedroom, Qiu Xue sat at her desk, wiping the snow globe. She stared at the ideal world inside the snow globe, yet felt no warmth or happiness. Her thoughts began to drift away.
With hollow eyes, she murmured to herself, "Will anyone hold a funeral for me?"
"What will my funeral be like?"
As if something had crossed her mind, the lifelessness in her suddenly gave way to a spark of motivation. She put away the cloth, opened the desk drawer, and took out a notebook.
Qiu Xue opened the notebook, flipping halfway through until she reached a blank page. Then, she picked up a ballpoint pen from the desk and began to write on the fresh page.
Emotions, thoughts, and ideas soon filled the blank white page. The inked feelings flowed from her body onto the paper, page after page, from intensity to calm, from outpouring to imagining.
Qiu Xue envisioned her funeral, initially imagining something radically different from tradition, with women first and men after. However, after reflecting calmly, she realized that extremes would only exacerbate the issue, so she revised it to be equal.
She pondered many things, writing freely and abundantly. Unfiltered words conveyed the deepest corners of her heart, fragile yet strong.
Her thoughts flowed endlessly, until she unknowingly laid her head on the desk, falling into the embrace of the night and slipping into a peaceful dream.
Inside the snow globe, the little girl remained in the house, looking out the window at her joyful companions, as well as at the slumbering Qiu Xue.
Perhaps that night, Qiu Xue was not alone. Someone might have been silently watching over her.
...
Morning light streamed through the window, driving away the darkness that had occupied the entire night and bringing vitality to the new day.
The sound of the phone alarm rang, waking the figure slumped over the desk. The figure's owner half-opened her eyes, struggling to adjust to the glaring light after the darkness.
Qiu Xue, in her blurry state, turned off the alarm on her phone and sat up, trying to gradually awaken her senses. However, the ache in her body and the headache from last night's drinking robbed her of her gentle pace, instantly jolting her awake.
She had no time to explore the pain in her body. After all, the alarm that had woken her was the final warning, and further delay would mean being late for work.
Qiu Xue quickly tidied up her desk, closed the notebook, and got up to freshen up.
With everything ready, she maintained her daily ritual of self-encouragement with the snow globe. It was only then that she remembered the snow globe needed repair.
In a hurry, Qiu Xue placed the snow globe into a box and rushed out, leaving behind the notebook that she had intended to put away in the drawer.
...
Qiu Xue walked along the sparsely populated sidewalk, while the traffic lane beside her remained congested. Fortunately, the traffic signal ahead soon turned green, and the flow of vehicles began to move slowly forward.
Not far ahead, there was a little girl in a red dress. Even from a distance, her anxious expression was evident as she stood still, looking around, confused and helpless.
Qiu Xue glanced around the little girl, noticing the absence of any adults. Had she gotten lost? Frowning, Qiu Xue quickened her pace towards the child.
The once-congested lane became clear with the green light, with only a few cars slowly passing by. After a while, the light changed to yellow, and at the same time, a car suddenly accelerated, trying to pass through the intersection before the light turned red.
When the signal turned red and the car dashed through the intersection, another vehicle, a motorcycle that had been waiting in the adjacent lane, moved forward and entered the intersection.
The appearance of the motorcycle caught the car off guard. Unable to brake in time, the car swerved sharply to avoid the motorcycle, but lost control and headed straight towards the little girl on the sidewalk.
At the critical moment, the frightened girl stood frozen, and even before Qiu Xue could yell "Watch out," she threw herself at the girl.
However, Qiu Xue was only able to push the girl out of the danger zone, while she herself ended up in the fatal area.
Her mind went blank, followed by the intense pain of being hit, as if she could feel the moment of suspension in the air before crashing down heavily. The sensation of pain faded, replaced by the heaviness and darkness of falling into an abyss.
Amid the chaos after a moment of silence, everything was so noisy.
Qiu Xue strained to open her eyes, trying to see through the blur.
The world seemed to have lost its color, appearing in shades of black and gray, except for the scattered fragments nearby. Those fragments blossomed in the grayness, bright and sparkling.
Those were the colors she had always sought, bringing solace amidst the pain. She managed a reluctant smile despite her suffering.
The colors gradually faded, blending into the surrounding gray, symbolizing the dwindling vitality.
"Am I going to die like this?"
"Well, it isn't that bad."
Unable to resist the heaviness of her eyelids, she slowly closed her eyes and fell into darkness.
The broken snow globe, the little girl freed, no longer trapped in the small house.
Perhaps this isn't such a bad ending.
At least, she is freed.
YOU ARE READING
My Funeral
General FictionHave you ever wondered what your funeral would be like if you died one day? Qiu Xue had attended several funerals, including her paternal grandfather's, paternal grandmother's, maternal grandfather's, and maternal grandmother's. Every one of them, w...
