Rami was 21 now, no longer the heartbroken boy who had once humiliated himself over a girl who never saw him. At least, that’s what he told himself. The years had changed him, hardened him, but as much as he had grown and bettered himself, he knew he wasn’t where he wanted to be. Something was missing. He had buried the pain, the shame, and the regret, but every so often, pieces of the old Rami resurfaced, scratching at the walls of the man he had become.
He was stronger now, more focused, determined to control his destiny. He had spent two years building himself up—physically, mentally, academically. Yet despite all the progress, despite the achievements he had stacked up to prove to himself that he was better, there was still a gnawing emptiness he couldn’t explain. He kept it buried beneath layers of accomplishments and pride, pretending it wasn’t there. But it was. It always had been.
Loneliness.
It was a quiet, subtle thing that lingered in the background, whispering to him when he was alone in his room late at night. Rami refused to admit it, even to himself. He didn’t need anyone. Not after what had happened with Lina. He had promised himself he would never be that weak again, never allow someone to hold power over him. And yet, despite all the walls he had built around his heart, the loneliness remained.
The scars of his past still lingered, even if they were mostly hidden from view. He never spoke about what had happened with Lina. The few people who knew about it assumed he had moved on, that he was fine now. In some ways, he was. But in other ways, the pain of that humiliation had never fully healed. It had simply changed form, settling into his bones, shaping the way he saw the world and himself.
And then she appeared.
She was younger than him—three years younger, to be exact—the daughter of close family friends. He had seen her around before, at family gatherings or neighborhood events, but until recently, she had never truly caught his attention. Maybe it was because she had been younger, or maybe because Rami had been too focused on his own life to notice. But something had changed.
She had grown into a young woman, and now, every time he saw her, he couldn’t help but feel that familiar stirring in his chest. Her name was Yasmina, and there was something about her—something pure, something effortless—that drew Rami in.
He didn’t know her well. In fact, he had barely spoken to her. But that didn’t stop him from noticing her every time she was near. She was always with her family, smiling, laughing, her eyes bright with youthful energy. She had an air of grace and intelligence that reminded him of the things he had once admired in Lina. But this time, it felt different.
Yasmina seemed... perfect. At least, that’s how Rami saw her. She was kind, polite, well-spoken. She carried herself with the same quiet confidence that Rami had always admired in women. And as he began to notice more about her, he realized that they shared so many things in common. They both valued family, both had a love for literature, both had dreams of building a future that aligned with their culture and values.
The more he learned about her, the more Rami found himself captivated. He began to watch her from a distance, observing the way she interacted with others, the way she moved through the world. He didn’t allow himself to get close—he had learned his lesson the first time. This time, he would be cautious. He wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
But the feelings grew, despite his efforts to remain detached. At first, it was just a curiosity, an interest in someone who seemed to embody everything he wanted in a girl. But soon, that curiosity turned into something more—something Rami had sworn he would never feel again.
Obsession.
It crept in slowly, unnoticed at first. Rami would catch himself thinking about Yasmina at odd times—when he was studying, when he was out with friends, when he was alone in his room. He would replay moments in his mind, moments where she had smiled or laughed, moments where their eyes had briefly met across a room. He had never spoken to her—never allowed himself to get that close—but in his mind, she had already become something far more significant.
She was everything he had wanted Lina to be. In fact, she was more. Where Lina had been broken, lost in her own toxic emotions, Yasmina seemed whole, complete. She didn’t have the baggage that Lina had carried, didn’t have the scars from past relationships that had made her hard to reach. Yasmina was pure, untainted by the pain that had haunted Rami for so long.
And that terrified him.
The more Rami watched her, the more he idolized her, placing her on a pedestal that no one could possibly live up to. He didn’t mean to do it. In fact, he tried to stop himself. He had been here before—had let himself fall for someone based on a fantasy he had built in his mind. But this time, it felt different. This time, Rami was convinced that Yasmina was everything he needed.
And yet, despite the growing feelings, Rami couldn’t bring himself to speak to her. He told himself it was because he was being cautious, that he was protecting himself from the kind of humiliation he had suffered before. But deep down, he knew the truth. He was scared.
The scars from his past still burned, reminding him of what had happened the last time he had followed his heart. He had been humiliated, discarded, left with nothing but shame and regret. He had sworn he would never allow that to happen again, and yet, here he was, falling into the same pattern, idolizing someone he barely knew, someone who had no idea of the weight of his emotions.
Yasmina was perfect in his eyes, but perfection was dangerous. It was the same trap he had fallen into with Lina—seeing someone as more than they were, believing that they could somehow fill the emptiness inside him. Rami told himself that he was being careful this time, that he wasn’t acting on his feelings the way he had before. But in truth, he was already lost.
He spent months like this, quietly watching from a distance, learning little bits and pieces about her from family conversations or from observing her at gatherings. Each new piece of information only fueled his obsession. He learned that she loved poetry, that she played the oud, that she wanted to study medicine. He learned that she was intelligent, driven, and deeply connected to her family’s values. And with each new detail, Rami became more convinced that she was the one.
But he didn’t act. He couldn’t. The scars of the past held him back, reminding him of what could happen if he allowed himself to fall too far.
---
One evening, during a family gathering, Rami found himself once again in Yasmina’s presence. She was sitting with her parents and a few other family members, her soft laugh floating through the air as they discussed something light-hearted. Rami stood on the other side of the room, pretending to engage in conversation with his own family, but his attention was fixed on her.
He watched the way she smiled, the way she gestured with her hands as she spoke. She seemed so... natural. So genuine. It was a stark contrast to the guarded, broken girl Lina had been, and that only made Rami fall deeper.
As he stood there, watching her from afar, a strange thought crept into his mind—one that he had tried to suppress for months. Why hadn’t he spoken to her yet? What was stopping him? She was perfect for him, wasn’t she? They had so much in common. Surely, if they ever talked, if they ever really got to know each other, things would fall into place.
But the fear lingered. The scars held him back, whispering warnings of humiliation, of rejection, of shame. He had told himself that he was different now, that he was stronger, that he had learned his lesson. But when it came to Yasmina, all of that strength seemed to melt away, leaving behind the same insecure boy who had once made a fool of himself over a girl who never cared.
So Rami remained silent, watching from a distance, allowing his obsession to grow unchecked. He didn’t know how to stop it, didn’t know how to control the feelings that were building inside him. And as the months passed, Rami found himself sinking deeper into the same dangerous pattern he had vowed to avoid.
He idolized her, not for who she truly was, but for who he imagined her to be. And as much as he hated himself for it, he couldn’t stop.
