IDOL | JJK

Chapter 4

His what he said?

I forced myself to smile, but inside, a whirlwind of emotions threatened to overwhelm me. Seorin stood there, her confidence radiating like a warm light, and I felt small in comparison. She reached out her hand, her smile genuine. "Hi, Ela. It's so nice to finally meet you! I've heard great things about your work."

"Nice to meet you too," I replied, my voice shaky despite my efforts to sound casual. I shook her hand, trying to ignore the fluttering panic in my chest.

"Great job out there! You two make an amazing team," Seorin continued, her eyes sparkling with admiration for Jungkook.

I watched as Jungkook smiled back at her, a smile that made my heart ache. I was losing him, and I knew it. "Thanks," I managed to say, my voice barely above a whisper.

Seorin leaned into Jungkook, and the sight felt like a punch to the gut. I wanted to scream, but all I could do was stand there, paralyzed by my own emotions. I tried to engage in small talk, but my mind was racing.

After a few moments, they turned to discuss something with the team, and I seized the opportunity to step away for a moment, desperately needing to gather myself. I found a quiet corner backstage and leaned against the wall, my heart pounding against my ribcage like a trapped bird.

As soon as I was alone, tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. I bit my lip to suppress a sob, gripping the edge of a nearby table to steady myself. I could feel the weight of my feelings pressing down on me, suffocating.

Before I knew it, the tears began to fall, and I quickly wiped them away, furious at myself for feeling this way. "Why are you being so pathetic?" I whispered harshly to myself, shaking my head. "He's just an idol. You liked him from a distance; you should know your place. You're just a fan, nothing more."

I took a deep breath, trying to pull it together, but the emotions kept bubbling up. Suddenly, I heard footsteps approaching. Taehyung appeared, concern etched on his face as he approached me.

"Ela?" he said softly, his voice filled with worry. "Are you okay?"

I quickly turned my head, wiping away the remnants of my tears, but I knew it was too late to hide how I felt. "I'm fine, Taehyung. Just... a little overwhelmed," I replied, forcing a smile that felt weak.

Taehyung stepped closer, studying me with those warm, understanding eyes. "You don't look fine. It's okay to feel overwhelmed, you know. If you want to talk, I'm here."

I hesitated, feeling the comfort of his presence. Maybe I didn't have to carry this alone. "It's just... everything's changing, and I'm trying to keep up," I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded, his expression softening. "Change can be tough. But you're not alone in this. I'm here for you."

Should I tell him how I feel? I start to wonder.. I just can not hold it in anymore. I feel like screaming my lungs out.

"It hurts to see Jungkook with someone else. I thought I could handle it if it happened one day, but watching him with Seorin now... it really hurts."

Taehyung's eyes softened, his gaze unwavering. "You care about him, don't you?" he said gently, giving me the space to express myself.

I nodded, feeling tears threaten to spill over again. "I've liked him for so long, and now... now I have to watch him be happy with someone else. It feels so selfish to even think this way, but I can't help it."

"Ela," he said softly, stepping closer, "it's not selfish to have feelings. You're human. It's okay to feel hurt, especially when someone you care about is with someone else."