Strygent (Jace Harrison Solo Book)

9

I walk Cindy home, her arm hooked through mine as we stroll down the quiet street. The night air is cool but it doesn't shake the warmth radiating off her. Her gown rustles softly as she moves. Every now and then, she leans her head against my shoulder like she's supposed to. Like this is how it should be.

But there's this weight in my chest, this tightness I can't shake. Cindy's perfect—the kind of perfect everyone expects me to be with. And yet, here I am, my mind drifting to him, to our smooch that still lingers like a secret I can't bury.

When we reach her doorstep, she turns to me, her eyes sparkling under the streetlight. "Tonight was amazing," she says, her voice soft, a hand resting on my chest.

I force a smile, nodding. "Yeah, it was great."

But my heart isn't in it. None of this feels real. Still, I lean in and kiss her. It's gentle, the kind of kiss I've given her a hundred times before, but it feels... hollow. My mind flashes back to Grayson—how everything about that moment felt right in a way I can't explain. The way his lips felt against mine, how his hands fit perfectly on my waist, how everything else just disappeared.

Guilt churns in my stomach. I'm standing here, kissing Cindy, the girl I'm supposed to love, but all I can think about is Grayson.

She pulls back, her eyes searching mine with adoration. "Goodnight," she whispers. I watch her slip inside, leaving me standing alone on her porch.

I should feel something—relief, maybe—but all I feel is this growing pit in my chest. I have her, but my heart's not here. It's somewhere else. With someone else.

By the time I make it home, my body is exhausted, but my mind won't stop racing. I fall onto my bed, the mattress sinking beneath me. I close my eyes. But all I see is Grayson. That kiss. That moment we shared.

My eyes snap open, wide and staring at the ceiling, the darkness pressing in around me. What if someone saw us? The cameras at school, the ones nobody ever thinks about... what if we're on footage? Kissing. God, what if we're on tape??!!

I can't breathe. My mind twirls. If anyone finds out... if Cindy finds out...??!!!

What my entire world is shatters tomorrow? I can see Cindy's face now—hurt, angry, humiliated. She doesn't deserve this. And Grayson... what if he feels the same? Would he leave me?

The dark room spins. I squeeze my eyes shut, but it only makes it worse. I see it all so vividly—the footage leaked all over school, my face plastered across every phone screen, my name on every one's lips. My gut stabs itself, my mouth dries up.

Come morning, I sit at the long, polished dining table, my eyes trailing over the silverware perfectly arranged in front of me. The smell of eggs benedict, truffle-infused toast, and freshly brewed coffee, but I can't enjoy any of it. My family's chatter bounces off the pristine walls. It all feels too normal, too suffocating for what's going on inside me.

Kim, as always, is first to sneer at something trivial. "I just don't understand how people can drink black coffee. It's... barbaric. They think they're being all rustic and grounded, but it's so... low-class." She adds oat milk and cinnamon.

I stare at my fork, the tines sharp, their reflection in the perfectly polished plate giving me something to focus on other than the pounding in my chest. My mind is still racing. My stomach knots at the thought of the cameras, the footage... someone knowing.

Father nods toward the window, at a gay couple jogging hand in hand. "That's what's wrong with this country. No wonder we're losing the war." He glowers at the men.