Stories of the writer

''Daddy...''

TRIGGER WARNING! The chapter contains @bus3 & gr@p3, $3lfh@rm.

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It hurts

So fucking much, but I like it.

I love the feeling it gives, the numb feeling it gives every time.

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When I was 5, my mother decided to leave and abandon me and my brother. It was us and my father. The reason she left was my father was because he was @bus|ve.

They started dating when my mom was 16 and she was 17. All cute and lovey-dovey right? Well, guess what! 

My father r@ped my mother.

After they married at the age of 16 and 18, he started being abusive towards her. Treated her like a slave, and made her do all the work no matter how tired she was. Begging for help? He made sure her face was so much in pain she couldn't even speak. And did he stop after I was born you might ask, no he didn't. 

It got worse to the point that he'd hit her harder after we came home from the hospital because of the trouble she caused by needing medical help. When I was 4 and my brother 1 and a half at the time, Father would start hitting me too, he didn't hesitate at all. I ask help for something? Hits. I ask him not to hurt mama? Holds me by my collar and throws me to the other side of the room making me spit bl0od. On and on, you get how it is

Every day would be the same. Wake up, get beaten, go to school, come home, get beaten again, and go to bed with an empty stomach. 

It was so painful, but I learned to not cry when my body was aching and bleeding like crazy!! That's the good part of it... I think. 

When I turned 5, about a month later my mother left. Nothing changed, other than him hitting me while being drunk. But I got used to it anyway.

 However, there is one night I vividly remember...

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I was 7. Father went out to drink and gamble again. My little brother and I went to sleep. I suddenly woke up, I needed water, I very quietly went to the kitchen since I was not allowed to get out of my room or else I get beaten up (like always)

I drink water and turn around to go back to my room. I see a shadow, a very big one.

"Daddy?"

... . . .

"Rose... Do you want to help Daddy out, sweetie? I'll give you a present if you help me well"

Sweetie? He never called me that, let's talk alone in a normal tone.

"Sure Daddy! How can I help you out?"

He came closer to me. While taking his belt off. Of course 7 years old me thought that he'd beat me up if I didn't help out well, but I was positive I'd do it well so I thought he did that just to get "comfortable". Bullshit.

"You can help me out by not making any noises, alright? I'm going to get a little game ready, and you have to be quiet. Got it?"

"Yes Daddy!"

2:53 AM

"Daddy, why are we in the bathroom?"

'Don't worry about it' he said, 'just be quiet' he said.

"Daddy, are you going to shower? You're taking your clothes off"

2:59 AM

"Daddy?"

"Daddy, why are you putting your hand in my pajama pants?"

3:05 AM

"Daddy, something hurts. I think something is in my pants, will you take it out with your hand?"

3:07 AM

"Agh. Daddy, it's starting to hurt more"

3:09 AM

"Daddy, you're smiling. Did you get the thing?"

"Daddy, you're pulling my pajama pants down? I don't want to shower"

"Daddy, do you want me to shower with you? Will that make me be able to help you out?"

3:12 AM

"Daddy, my legs can open only that much, Isn't the thing that was hurting me gone?"

3:14 AM

"Daddy, something is hurting me again. But it's something way bigger than the last one. Like a dino!"

3:15 AM

"Daddy!" 

I tried to be quiet, he was going to give me a present after, right?

"It hurts, can you make the pain go away?"

"Daddy, why are you smiling? Am I helping you out?"

3:45 AM

"Daddy..."

-TO BE CONTINUED-

NOTE: Hello! So this is something new for me - I wanted to try to write again after not doing it for a while, so here we are! I was thinking about making this book like a One Shot type of book, where each chapter is different, not following any storyline. Maybe if it gets requested, I could try to write a different book about one of the chapters, just continued. This kinda feels like those Imagine TikToks ngl. Though this is just some trying ya know.

Let me know what you thought about this chapter in the comments! Thank you and have a great night <3