Fighting For My Undead Soul

Chapter 17

Lena's POV

I stayed on the floor for a while, staring at the now blank screen in front of me. She was gone. The woman I had watched on the TV was not Artemis. My heart shattered over and over as I thought about what she did. She did it without thinking, like instinct took over and that's all that mattered. Artemis, the girl who left home to protect people she loved, including humans. How could she do this? Why? They must have threatened my life, or Spencer's, or somebody in her life because I don't see how she could do what she did without someone being in danger. She wasn't the type to abandon her morals to save her own life. No, this was an act of necessity, not self-preservation. She was fighting for us, so I wouldn't stop fighting for her.

It felt like a couple of hours had passed before the door to the room I was in opened. I stood quickly, but relaxed as Cassie entered the room. One of Roman's men stood in the doorway, watching us intently. "It's time to go," Cassie said as she reached me and looped her arm with mine. The man turned, allowing us to slide past him and re-enter the space we had fought in earlier. Spencer was already there waiting, his face expressionless. Roman was nowhere to be seen, but his guards were everywhere. One of them stepped forward and motioned for us to follow. We walked through the building until we were back in the club part of Oasis. People still mingled and drank, unbothered by the happenings of the day. Roman's guard walked us to the door, but didn't follow us outside.

Cassie unhooked her arm from mine as we got into Spencer's car. No one spoke as he started up the engine and we left the parking lot. I looked out the window, watching the sky darken as night pushed away the day. I waited for one of them to break the silence as we sped down the highway. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore and I had to say something. "Are we going to pretend like we didn't all watch Artemis kill someone?" I asked quietly. Neither of them responded. "I mean she literally sucked the life out of her, with zero hesitation," I continued. I felt the prickle of tears in my eyes as I spoke, "What did they do to her to push her to that point?"

"Enough," Spencer said lowly. His fists were clenched tight onto the steering wheel. "It doesn't matter what they did. It doesn't matter what she did. I'm going to get her back, and everything will be okay. Everything has to be okay." I shook my head before resting it in my hands. I didn't try to hold back the tears as they fell, trickling down my face and onto my hands. "She won't be the same," I whispered. "You know her Spencer just as well as either of us. She would rather die than do what they made her do. If we can get her back, she won't really be herself."

"None of that fucking matters right now, Lena," his voice raising as he glared at me in the rearview mirror. I held his gaze, waiting for more. "She is my sister. I don't care what she's done or how she feels about it, she has to come home. And she's your fucking fiancé. Or does that no longer matter to you? Maybe she just gave you the out you fucking needed." My heart shattered at his words. My mouth opened, but I had no retort. "Spencer!" Cassie exclaimed. Her body twisted in her seat, first towards him and then to me. I sank into my seat, crossing my arms onto my body. That wasn't the truth. I loved Artemis more than anything. I love her. I'm just processing and trying to wrap my head around everything that has happened.

"We can't do this right now. Artemis needs us, all of us. It doesn't matter why we do it or how we do it, but we have to work together to get her back. After that, things can play out as they need to. But let's not fight anymore, not with each other," Cassie said. I could see her looking back and forth at me and Spencer in my peripheral vision. I stayed drawn in on myself, watching the landscape pass in my window. Spencer didn't respond either. Cassie turned back in her seat, satisfied with our silence being acceptance.

It didn't take long until we were pulling up to their parents' house. I got out quietly and followed Spencer and Cassie inside. Their parents were waiting in the living room. Spencer must have told them we were headed back. "Where is she?" Their mom asked with a frantic edge to her voice. For a tiny, millisecond I saw the scared little boy underneath Spencer's typically strong, manly exterior. I decided not to hold his words against him, even though they hurt. They were a product of him hurting too and Cassie was right, we were fighting for the same thing. All that mattered was getting Artemis away from wherever they were keeping her. "We still don't know where she's being kept. But we know who has her," he replied to his mom. He walked over to the sectional and plopped down. "It's going to take some time, but I'm sure we can find her." We joined him on the sofa and began filling in his parents on what had happened since we left.

A few weeks passed without us getting any closer to finding where they were keeping Artemis. We had all been cooped up in the same house. "There's strength in numbers" according to Spencer. But today, I took one of the cars and was halfway back to mine and Artemis' place. I hadn't been there since we left to find her. I was scared to go back. Scared to think about the life we shared together and whether we could make it back to that life. It was falling apart way before she was taken. And her being taken had renewed my fire to show up for her and be there and love her with the fierceness she deserves. I hadn't said it out loud again, but I was worried about whether I could still give her those things.

I know the black hole she had fallen into. She won't be herself when we get her back. Not for a while, if ever. What if I can't love her in the way she needs anymore? What if she doesn't love me? A part of me had felt like we were starting to outgrow each other. Now, the rest of me is fighting that small part, trying to reject the idea that not only had we outgrown each other, but that we were no longer compatible. Another feeling overcame me as I grew closer to our home. Guilt. At the things I was thinking and feeling. What kind of person was I to give up on Artemis when she needs me most? She wouldn't give up on me. Ever. And I didn't feel like I was giving up on her, but maybe letting go of the idea of us. Because "us" couldn't be the same "us" we used to be. It was just impossible.

I pulled into the familiar gravel driveway. Flashbacks to the night she was taken filled my head. I waited, just as I did that night, for signs of life in the house. Listened for a heartbeat I knew wasn't there. I got out of the car and walked up to the door. It was unlocked, we had left in a hurry when we realized what had happened. I walked inside and the smell of Art filled my nose. I smiled as I ran my hand along decorations she had insisted on putting in the house.

"Seriously Lena, this cow would look awesome sitting on the coffee table," Artemis gushed as she held up a ceramic cow. "Art, nothing in our house suggests a farm theme. It would be easier to say yes if the cow had a purpose, but it's literally just a cow." She frowned and sat it back down. It didn't take long for her to find another silly little trinket that she wanted, and I caved, not able to deny her of things she wanted.

I remembered later when we got home, she was surprised to walk out of the bathroom and see the cow sitting on the coffee table. She had been so excited that we had sex right then and there. I continued moving through the house. It was overwhelming to be reminded of her so heavily and I couldn't help but think of all the great memories we had made in just a year's time. Yes, we had started to pull apart, but that's because I lost sight of what we had and what she meant to me. But it was impossible to deny my feelings for her when in this house. I was wrong about everything. It didn't matter what she did, I would always love her. I wasn't ready to give up on us. I would get her back and then I would figure out how to get us back.